"Thank you very much, sir," she said, "but I've been skating all
afternoon, and I'm tired of sitting down."

SKY-SCRAPERS

_See_ Buildings.

SLEEP

Recently a friend who had heard that I sometimes suffer from insomnia
told me of a sure cure. "Eat a pint of peanuts and drink two or three
glasses of milk before going to bed," said he, "and I'll warrant you'll
be asleep within half an hour." I did as he suggested, and now for the
benefit of others who may be afflicted with insomnia, I feel it my duty
to report what happened, so far as I am able to recall the details.

First, let me say my friend was right. I did go to sleep very soon after
my retirement. Then a friend with his head under his arm came along and
asked me if I wanted to buy his feet. I was negotiating with him, when
the dragon on which I was riding slipped out of his skin and left me
floating in mid-air. While I was considering how I should get down, a
bull with two heads peered over the edge of the wall and said he would
haul me up if I would first climb up and rig a windlass for him. So as I
was sliding down the mountainside the brakeman came in, and I asked him
when the train would reach my station.

"We passed your station four hundred years ago," he said, calmly folding
the train up and slipping it into his vest pocket.

At this juncture the clown bounded into the ring and pulled the
center-pole out of the ground, lifting the tent and all the people in it
up, up, while I stood on the earth below watching myself go out of sight
among the clouds above. Then I awoke, and found I had been asleep almost
ten minutes.--_The Good Health Clinic_.

SMILES

There was a young lady of Niger,
Who went for a ride on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger.

--_Gilbert K. Chesterton_.

SMOKING

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.--_Rudyard
Kipling_.

AUNT MARY--(horrified) "Good gracious. Harold, what would your mother
say if she saw you smoking cigarets?" HAROLD (calmly)--"She'd have a
fit. They're her cigarets."

An Irish soldier on sentry duty had orders to allow no one to smoke near
his post. An officer with a lighted cigar approached whereupon Pat
boldly challenged him and ordered him to put it out at once.

The officer with a gesture of disgust threw away his cigar, but no
sooner was his back turned than Pat picked it u