p and quietly retired to
the sentry box.

The officer happening to look around, observed a beautiful cloud of
smoke issuing from the box. He at once challenged Pat for smoking on
duty.

"Smoking, is it, sor? Bedad, and I'm only keeping it lit to show the
corporal when he comes as evidence agin you."

SNEEZING

While campaigning in Iowa Speaker Cannon was once inveigled into
visiting the public schools of a town where he was billed to speak. In
one of the lower grades an ambitious teacher called upon a youthful
Demosthenes to entertain the distinguished visitor with an exhibition of
amateur oratory. The selection attempted was Byron's "Battle of
Waterloo," and just as the boy reached the end of the first paragraph
Speaker Cannon gave vent to a violent sneeze. "But, hush! hark!"
declaimed the youngster; "a deep sound strikes like a rising knell! Did
ye not hear it?"

The visitors smiled and a moment later the second sneeze--which the
Speaker was vainly trying to hold back--came with increased violence.

"But, hark!" bawled the boy, "that heavy sound breaks in once more, and
nearer, clearer, deadlier than before! Arm! arm! it is--it is--the
cannon's opening roar!"

This was too much, and the laugh that broke from the party swelled to a
roar when "Uncle Joe" chuckled: "Put up yout weapons, children; I won't
shoot any more."

SNOBBERY

Snobbery is the pride of those who are not sure of their position.

SNORING

Snore--An unfavorable report from headquarters.--_Foolish Dictionary_.

SOCIALISTS

Among the stories told of the late Baron de Rothschild is one which
details how a "change of heart" once came to his valet--an excellent
fellow, albeit a violent "red."

Alphonse was as good a servant as one would wish to employ, and as his
socialism never got farther than attending a weekly meeting, the baron
never objected to his political faith. After a few months of these
permissions to absent himself from duty, his employer noticed one week
that he did not ask to go. The baron thought Alphonse might have
forgotten the night, but when the next week he stayed at home, he
inquired what was up.

"Sir," said the valet, with the utmost dignity, "some of my former
colleagues have worked out a calculation that if all the wealth in
France were divided equally per capita, each individual would be the
possessor of two thousand francs."

Then he stopped as if that told the whole story, so