d eighty dollars has been paid. This set of books gives
you the most celebrated speeches of the greatest talkers the world has
ever known and--"

"Let me see the index," said the meek man.

The agent handed it to him and he looked through it carefully and
methodically, running his finger along the list of names.

Reaching the end he handed the index back to the agent and said: "It
isn't what you claim it is. I happen to know the greatest talker in the
world, and you haven't her in the index."

A guest was expected for dinner and Bobby had received five cents as the
price of his silence during the meal. He was as quiet as a mouse until,
discovering that his favorite dessert was being served, he could no
longer curb his enthusiasm. He drew the coin from his pocket, and
rolling it across the table, exclaimed: "Here's your nickel, Mamma. I'd
rather talk."

A belated voyager in search of hilarity stumbled home after one o'clock
and found his wife waiting for him. The curtain lecture that followed
was of unusual virulence, and in the midst of it he fell asleep.
Awakening a few hours later he found his wife still pouring forth a
regular cascade of denunciation. Eyeing her sleepily he said curiously,

"Say, are you talking yet or again?"

"You must not talk all the time, Ethel," said the mother who had been
interrupted.

"When will I be old enough to, Mama?" asked the little girl.

While the late Justice Brewer was judge in a minor court he was
presiding at the trial of a wife's suit for separation and alimony. The
defendant acknowledged that he hadn't spoken to his wife in five years,
and Judge Brewer put in a question.

"What explanation have you," he asked severely, "for not speaking to
your wife in five years?"

"Your Honor," replied the husband, "I didn't like to interrupt the
lady."

She was in an imaginative mood.

"Henry, dear," she said after talking two hours without a recess, "I
sometimes wish I were a mermaid."

"It would be fatal," snapped her weary hubby.

"Fatal! In what way?"

"Why, you couldn't keep your mouth closed long enough to keep from
drowning."

And after that, Henry did not get any supper.

"Here comes Blinkers. He's got a new baby, and he'll talk us to death."

"Well, here comes a neighbor of mine who has a new setter dog. Let's
introduce them and leave them to their fate."--_Life_.

A street-car was getting under way when two women, rushing from opposite
sides