YONKERS

An American took an Englishman to a theater. An actor in the farce,
about to die, exclaimed: "Please, dear wife, don't bury me in
Yonkers!"

The Englishman turned to his friend and said: "I say, old chap, what
_are_ yonkers?"

"YOU"

Here's to the world, the merry old world,
To its days both bright and blue;
Here's to our future, be it what it may,
And here's to my best--that's you!

ZONES

TEACHER--"How many zones has the earth?"

PUPIL--"Five."

TEACHER--"Correct. Name them."

PUPIL--"Temperate zone, intemperate, canal, horrid, and o."--_Life_.

INDEX

ABILITY
ABOLITION
ABSENT-MINDEDNESS
ACCIDENTS
ACTING
ACTORS AND ACTRESSES
ADAPTATION
ADDRESSES
ADVERTISING
ADVICE
AERONAUTICS
AEROPLANES
AFTER DINNER SPEECHES
AGE
AGENTS
AGRICULTURE
ALARM CLOCKS
ALERTNESS
ALIBI
ALIMONY
ALLOWANCES
ALTRUISM
AMBITION
AMERICAN GIRL
AMERICANS
AMUSEMENTS
ANATOMY
ANCESTRY
ANGER
ANNIVERSARIES
ANTIDOTES
APPEARANCES
APPLAUSE
ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL
ARITHMETIC
ARMIES
ARMY RATIONS
ART
ARTISTS
ATHLETES
ATTENTION
AUTHORS
AUTOMOBILES
AUTOMOBILING
AVIATION
AVIATORS

BABIES
BACCALAUREATE SERMONS
BACTERIA
BADGES
BAGGAGE
BALDNESS
BANKS AND BANKING
BAPTISM
BAPTISTS
BARGAINS
BASEBALL
BATHS AND BATHING
BAZARS
BEARDS
BEAUTY
BEAUTY, PERSONAL
BEDS
BEER
BEES
BEETLES
BEGGING
BETTING
BIBLE INTERPRETATION
BIGAMY
BILLS
BIRTHDAYS
BLUFFING
BLUNDERS
BOASTING
BONANZAS
BOOKKEEPING
BOOKS AND READING
BOOKSELLERS AND BOOKSELLING
BOOKWORMS
BOOMERANGS
BORES
BORROWERS
BOSSES
BOSTON
BOXING
BOYS
BREAKFAST FOODS
BREATH
BREVITY
BRIBERY
BRIDES
BRIDGE WHIST
BROOKLYN
BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS
BUILDINGS
BURGLARS
BUSINESS
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
BUSINESS ETHICS
BUSINESS WOMEN

CAMPAIGNS
CAMPING
CANDIDATES
CANNING AND PRESERVING
CAPITALISTS
CAREFULNESS
CARPENTERS
CARVING
CASTE
CATS
CAUSE AND EFFECT
CAUTION
CHAMPAGNE
CHARACTER
CHARITY
CHICAGO
CHICKEN STEALING
CHILD LABOR
CHILDREN
CHOICES
CHOIRS
CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS
CHRISTIANS
CHRISTMAS GIFTS
CHRONOLOGY
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
CHURCH DISCIPLINE
CIRCUS
CIVILIZATION
CLEANLINESS
CLERGY
CLIMATE
CLOTHING
CLUBS
CO