The Project Gutenberg EBook: Toaster's Handbook
by Peggy Edmund & Harold W. Williams, compilers

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Title: Toaster's Handbook
Jokes, Stories, and Quotations

Author: Peggy Edmund & Harold W. Williams, compilers

Release Date: May 26, 2004 [EBook #12444]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK: TOASTER'S HANDBOOK ***

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[Transcriber's Note: the Contents and Index were added to this e-book
by the transcriber]

TOASTER'S HANDBOOK

JOKES, STORIES, AND
QUOTATIONS

Compiled by

PEGGY EDMUND

and

HAROLD WORKMAN WILLIAMS

Introductions by

MARY KATHARINE REELY

1916

CONTENTS

PREFACE

ON THE POSSESSION OF A SENSE OF HUMOR

TOASTERS, TOASTMASTERS AND TOASTS

TOASTER'S HANDBOOK

INDEX

PREFACE

Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to
respond to a toast on some appallingly near-by occasion. All ideas he
may ever have had on the subject melt away and like a drowning man he
clutches furiously at the nearest solid object. This book is intended
for such rescue purpose, buoyant and trustworthy but, it is to be hoped,
not heavy.

Let the frightened toaster turn first to the key word of his topic in
this dictionary alphabet of selections and perchance he may find toast,
story, definition or verse that may felicitously introduce his remarks.
Then as he proceeds to outline his talk and to put it into sentences, he
may find under one of the many subject headings a bit which will happily
and scintillatingly drive home the ideas he is unfolding.

While the larger part of the contents is humorous, there are inserted
many quotations of a serious nature which may serve as appropriate
literary ballast.

The jokes and quotes gathered for the toaster have been placed under the
subject headings where it seemed that they might be most useful, even at
the risk of the joke turning on the compilers. To extend the usefulness
of such pseudo-cataloging, cross references, similar and dissimilar to
those of a library card catalog, have been included.

S