assel, "how little you
reformers understand local conditions. I've purty nigh paid off a
mortgage with the money I made haulm' automobiles out o' that mud-hole."

The old lady from the country and her small son were driving to town
when a huge automobile bore down upon them. The horse was badly
frightened and began to prance, whereupon the old lady leaped down and
waved wildly to the chauffeur, screaming at the top of her voice.

The chauffeur stopped the car and offered to help get the horse past.

"That's all right," said the boy, who remained composedly in the
carriage, "I can manage the horse. You just lead Mother past."

"What makes you carry that horrible shriek machine for an automobile
signal?"

"For humane reasons." replied Mr. Chugging. "If I can paralyze a person
with fear he will keep still and I can run to one side of him."

In certain sections of West Virginia there is no liking for
automobilists, as was evidenced in the case of a Washingtonian who was
motoring in a sparsely settled region of the State.

This gentleman was haled before a local magistrate upon the complaint of
a constable. The magistrate, a good-natured man, was not, however,
absolutely certain that the Washingtonian's car had been driven too
fast; and the owner stoutly insisted that he had been progressing at the
rate of only six miles an hour.

"Why, your Honor," he said, "my engine was out of order, and I was going
very slowly because I was afraid it would break down completely. I give
you my word, sir, you could have walked as fast as I was running."

"Well," said the magistrate, after due reflection, "you don't appear to
have been exceeding the speed limit, but at the same time you must have
been guilty of something, or you wouldn't be here. I fine you ten
dollars for loitering."--_Fenimore Martin_.

AVIATION

The aviator's wife was taking her first trip with her husband in his
airship. "Wait a minute, George," she said. "I'm afraid we will have to
go down again."

"What's wrong?" asked her husband.

"I believe I have dropped one of the pearl buttons off my jacket. I
think I can see it glistening on the ground."

"Keep your seat, my dear," said the aviator, "that's Lake Erie."

AVIATOR (to young assistant, who has begun to be frightened)--"Well,
what do you want now?"

ASSISTANT (whimpering)--"I want the earth."--_Abbie C. Dixon_.

When Claude Grahame-White the famous aviator, author of "The Aeropl