an afternoon walk with her
nurse and said to her mother, "Oh, Mamma, a strange woman on the street
said to me, 'My, but ain't you got beautiful hair!'"

The mother smiled, for the compliment was well merited, but she gasped
as the child innocently continued her account:

"I said to her, 'I am very glad to have you like my hair, but I am sorry
to hear you use the word "ain't"!'"--_E. R. Bickford_.

NAN--"That young man from Boston is an interesting talker, so far as you
can understand what he says; but what a queer dialect he uses."

FAN--"That isn't dialect; it's vocabulary. Can't you tell the
difference?"

A Bostonian died, and when he arrived at St. Peter's gate he was asked
the usual questions:

"What is your name, and where are you from?"

The answer was, "Mr. So-and-So, from Boston."

"You may come in," said Peter, "but I know you won't like it."

There was a young lady from Boston,
A two-horned dilemma was tossed on,
As to which was the best,
To be rich in the west
Or poor and peculiar in Boston.

BOXING

John L. Sullivan was asked why he had never taken to giving boxing
lessons.

"Well, son, I tried it once," replied Mr. Sullivan. "A husky young man
took one lesson from me and went home a little the worse for wear. When
he came around for his second lesson he said: 'Mr Sullivan, it was my
idea to learn enough about boxing from you to be able to lick a certain
young gentleman what I've got it in for. But I've changed my mind,' says
he. 'If it's all the same to you, Mr. Sullivan, I'll send this young
gentleman down here to take the rest of my lessons for me.'"

BOYS

A certain island in the West Indies is liable to the periodical advent
of earthquakes. One year before the season of these terrestrial
disturbances, Mr. X., who lived in the danger zone, sent his two sons to
the home of a brother in England, to secure them from the impending
havoc.

Evidently the quiet of the staid English household was disturbed by the
irruption of the two West Indians, for the returning mail steamer
carried a message to Mr. X., brief but emphatic:

"Take back your boys; send me the earthquake."

Aunt Eliza came up the walk and said to her small nephew: "Good morning,
Willie. Is your mother in?"

"Sure she's in," replied Willie truculently. "D'you s'pose I'd be
workin' in the garden on Saturday morning if she wasn't?"

An iron hoop bounded through the area railings of