presented a check
for which he wanted the equivalent in cash.

"Have to be identified," said the clerk.

The stranger took a bunch of letters from his pocket all addressed to
the same name as that on the check.

The clerk shook his head.

The man thought a minute and pulled out his watch, which bore the name
on its inside cover.

Clerk hardly glanced at it.

The man dug into his pockets and found one of those
"If-I-should-die-tonight-please-notify-my-wife" cards, and called the
clerk's attention to the description, which fitted to a T.

But the clerk was still obdurate.

"Those things don't prove anything," he said. "We've got to have the
word of a man that we know."

"But, man, I've given you an identification that would convict me of
murder in any court in the land."

"That's probably very true," responded the clerk, patiently, "but in
matters connected with the bank we have to be more careful."

_See also_ Jury; Witnesses.

COURTSHIP

"Do you think a woman believes you when you tell her she is the first
girl you ever loved?"

"Yes, if you're the first liar she has ever met."

Augustus Fitzgibbons Moran
Fell in love with Maria McCann.
With a yell and a whoop
He cleared the front stoop
Just ahead of her papa's brogan.

SPOONLEIGH--"Does your sister always look under the bed?"

HER LITTLE BROTHER--"Yes, and when you come to see her she always looks
under the sofa."--_J.J. O'Connell_.

There was a young man from the West,
Who loved a young lady with zest;
So hard did he press her
To make her say, "Yes, sir,"
That he broke three cigars in his vest.

"I hope your father does not object to my staying so late," said Mr.
Stayput as the clock struck twelve.

"Oh, dear, no," replied Miss Dabbs, with difficulty suppressing a yawn,
"He says you save him the expense of a night-watchman."

There was an old monk of Siberia,
Whose existence grew drearier and drearier;
He burst from his cell
With a hell of a yell,
And eloped with the Mother Superior.

It was scarcely half-past nine when the rather fierce-looking father of
the girl entered the parlor where the timid lover was courting her. The
father had his watch in his hand.

"Young man," he said brusquely, "do you know what time it is?"

"Y-y-yes sir," stuttered the frightened lover, as he scrambled out into
the hall; "I--I was just going to leave!"

After