e Zimmerman_.

Mother had been having considerable argument with her infant daughter as
to whether the latter was going to be left alone in a dark room to go to
sleep. As a clincher, the mother said: "There is no reason at all why
you should be afraid. Remember that God is here all the time, and,
besides, you have your dolly. Now go to sleep like a good little girl."
Twenty minutes later a wail came from upstairs, and mother went to the
foot of the stairs to pacify her daughter. "Don't cry," she said;
"remember what I told you--God is there with you and you have your
dolly." "But I don't want them," wailed the baby; "I want you, muvver; I
want somebody here that has got a skin face on them."

Faith is a fine invention
For gentlemen who see;
But Microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.

--_Emily Dickinson_.

FAITHFULNESS

A wizened little Irishman applied for a job loading a ship. At first
they said he was too small, but he finally persuaded them to give him a
trial. He seemed to be making good, and they gradually increased the
size of his load until on the last trip he was carrying a 300-pound
anvil under each arm. When he was half-way across the gangplank it broke
and the Irishman fell in. With a great splashing and spluttering he came
to the surface.

"T'row me a rope, I say!" he shouted again. Once more he sank. A third
time he rose struggling.

"Say!" he spluttered angrily, "if one uv you shpalpeens don't hurry up
an' t'row me a rope I'm goin' to drop one uv these damn t'ings!"

FAME

Fame is the feeling that you are the constant subject of admiration on
the part of people who are not thinking of you.

Many a man thinks he has become famous when he has merely happened to
meet an editor who was hard up for material.

Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining
it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to
deter a man from so vain a pursuit.--_Addison_.

FAMILIES

"Yes, sir, our household represents the United Kingdom of Great
Britain," said the proud father of number one to the rector. "I am
English, my wife's Irish, the nurse is Scotch and the baby wails."

Mrs. O'Flarity is a scrub lady, and she had been absent from her duties
for several days. Upon her return her employer asked her the reason for
her absence.

"Sure, I've been carin' for wan of me sick children," she replied.

"And how many chil