I sent them to you in ten of your own
flour-barrels."

"Ahem! Did, eh?" said the miller. "Well, perhaps I made a mistake. Let's
imbibe."

The stranger laid down four aces and scooped in the pot.

"This game ain't on the level," protested Sagebush Sam, at the same time
producing a gun to lend force to his accusation. "That ain't the hand I
dealt ye!"

A dumpy little woman with solemn eyes, holding by the hand two dumpy
little boys, came to the box-office of a theater. Handing in a quarter,
she asked meekly for the best seat she could get for that money.

"Those boys must have tickets if you take them in," said the clerk.

"Oh, no, mister," she said. "I never pay for them. I never can spare
more than a quarter, and I just love a show. We won't cheat you any,
mister, for they both go sound asleep just as soon as they get into a
seat, and don't see a single bit of it."

The argument convinced the ticket man, and he allowed the two children
to pass in.

Toward the end of the second act an usher came out of the auditorium and
handed a twenty-five-cent piece to the ticket-seller.

"What's this?" demanded the latter.

"I don't know," said the usher. "A little chunk of a woman beckoned me
clear across the house, and said one of her kids had waked up and was
looking at the show, and that I should bring you that quarter."

HONOR

In the smoking compartment of a Pullman, there were six men smoking and
reading. All of a sudden a door banged and the conductor's voice cried:

"All tickets, please!"

Then one of the men in the compartment leaped to his feet, scanned the
faces of the others and said, slowly and impressively:

"Gentlemen, I trust to your honor."

And he dived under the seat and remained there in a small, silent knot
till the conductor was safely gone.

Titles of honour add not to his worth,
Who is himself an honour to his titles.

--_John Ford_.

HOPE

FRED--"My dear Dora, let this thought console you for your lover's
death. Remember that other and better men than he have gone the same
way."

BEREAVED ONE--"They haven't all gone, have they?"--_Puck_.

HORSES

A city man, visiting a small country town, boarded a stage with two
dilapidated horses, and found that he had no other currency than a
five-dollar bill. This he proffered to the driver. The latter took it,
looked it over for a moment or so, and then asked:

"Which horse do you want?"

A travele