in British Columbia were accused of having
victimized English and Scotch settlers by selling to them (at long
range) fruit ranches which were situated on the tops of mountains. It is
said that the captain of a steamboat on Kootenay Lake once heard a great
splash in the water. Looking over the rail, he spied the head of a man
who was swimming toward his boat. He hailed him. "Do you know," said the
swimmer, "this is the third time to-day that I've fallen off that bally
old ranch of mine?"

MOVING PICTURES

"Your soldiers look fat and happy. You must have a war chest." "Not
exactly, but things are on a higher plane than they used to be. This
revolution is being financed by a moving-picture concern."

MUCK-RAKING

The way of the transgressor is well written up.

MULES

Gen. O.O. Howard, as is well known, is a man of deep religious
principles, and in the course of the war he divided his time pretty
equally between fighting and evangelism. Howard's brigade was known all
through the army as the Christian brigade, and he was very proud of it.

There was one hardened old sinner in the brigade, however, whose ears
were deaf to all exhortation. General Howard was particularly anxious to
convert this man, and one day he went down in the teamsters' part of the
camp where the man was on duty. He talked with him long and earnestly
about religion and finally said:

"I want to see you converted. Won't you come to the mourners' bench at
the next service?"

The erring one rubbed his head thoughtfully for a moment and then
replied:

"General, I'm plumb willin' to be converted, but if I am, seein' that
everyone else has got religion, who in blue blazes is goin' to drive the
mules?"

MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT

"What's the trouble in Plunkville?"

"We've tried a mayor and we've tried a commission."

"Well?"

"Now we're thinking of offering the management of our city to some good
magazine."

MUSEUMS

It had been anything but an easy afternoon for the teacher who took six
of her pupils through the Museum of Natural History, but their
enthusiastic interest in the stuffed animals and their open-eyed wonder
at the prehistoric fossils amply repaid her.

"Well, boys, where have you been all afternoon?" asked the father of two
of the party that evening.

The answer came back with joyous promptness: "Oh, pop! Teacher took us
to a dead circus."

Two Marylanders, who were visiting the Nat