usic is the universal language of mankind.--_Longfellow_.

I even think that, sentimentally, I am disposed to harmony. But
organically I am incapable of a tune.--_Charles Lamb_.

There's music in the sighing of a reed;
There's music in the gushing of a rill;
There's music in all things, if men had ears:
Their earth is but an echo of the spheres.

--_Byron_.

MUSICIANS

FATHER--"Well, sonny, did you take your dog to the 'vet' next door to
your house, as I suggested?"

BOY--"Yes, sir."

FATHER-"And what did he say?"

BOY--"'E said Towser was suffering from nerves, so Sis had better give
up playin' the pianner."

The "celebrated pianiste," Miss Sharpe, had concluded her recital. As
the resultant applause was terminating, Mrs. Rochester observed Colonel
Grayson wiping his eyes. The old gentleman noticed her look, and,
thinking it one of inquiry, began to explain the cause of his sadness.
"The girl's playing," he told the lady, "reminded me so much of the
playing of her father. He used to be a chum of mine in the Army of the
Potomac."

"Oh, indeed!" cooed Mrs. Rochester, with a conventional show of
interest. "I never knew her father was a piano-player."

"He wasn't," replied the Colonel. "He was a drummer."--_G.T. Evans_.

Recipe for an orchestra leader:

Four hundred and twenty-two movements--
Emanuel, Swedish and Swiss--
It's a wonder the hand can keep playing,
You'd think they'd die laughing at this!

--_Life_.

'Tis God gives skill,
But not without men's hands: He could not make
Antonio Stradivari's violins
Without Antonio.

--_George Eliot_.

NAMES, PERSONAL

Israel Zangwill, the well-known writer, signs himself I. Zangwill. He
was once approached at a reception by a fussy old lady, who demanded,
"Oh, Mr. Zangwill, what is your Christian name?"

"Madame, I have none," he gravely assured her.--_John Pearson_.

FRIEND-"So your great Russian actor was a total failure?"

MANAGER-"Yes. It took all our profits to pay for running the electric
light sign with his name on it."--_Puck_.

A somewhat unpatriotic little son of Italy, twelve years old, came to
his teacher in the public school and asked if he could not have his name
changed.

"Why do you wish to change your name?" the teacher asked.

"I want to be an American. I live in America now. I no longer want to be
a Dago."

"What American name would you like to have?