patiently hour after hour waiting for a fish to nibble at his bait."

PATRIOTISM

General Gordon, the Confederate commander, used to tell the following
story: He was sitting by the roadside one blazing hot day when a
dilapidated soldier, his clothing in rags, a shoe lacking, his head
bandaged, and his arm in a sling, passed him. He was soliloquizing in
this manner:

"I love my country. I'd fight for my country. I'd starve and go thirsty
for my country. I'd die for my country. But if ever this damn war is
over I'll never love another country!"

A snobbish young Englishman visiting Washington's home at Mount Vernon
was so patronizing as to arouse the wrath of guards and caretakers; but
it remained for "Shep" Wright, an aged gardener and one of the first
scouts of the Confederate army, to settle the gentleman. Approaching
"Shep," the Englishman said:

"Ah--er--my man, the hedge! Yes, I see, George got this hedge from dear
old England."

"Reckon he did," replied "Shep". "He got this whole blooming country
from England."

Speaking of the policy of the Government of the United States with
respect to its troublesome neighbors in Central and South America,
"Uncle Joe" Cannon told of a Missouri congressman who is decidedly
opposed to any interference in this regard by our country. It seems that
this spring the Missourian met an Englishman at Washington with whom he
conversed touching affairs in the localities mentioned. The westerner
asserted his usual views with considerable forcefulness, winding up with
this observation:

"The whole trouble is that we Americans need a ---- good licking!"

"You do, indeed!" promptly asserted the Britisher, as if pleased by the
admission. But his exultation was of brief duration, for the Missouri
man immediately concluded with:

"But there ain't nobody can do it!"

A number of Confederate prisoners, during the Civil War, were detained
at one of the western military posts under conditions much less
unpleasant than those to be found in the ordinary military prison. Most
of them appreciated their comparatively good fortune. One young fellow,
though, could not be reconciled to association with Yankees under any
circumstances, and took advantage of every opportunity to express his
feelings. He was continually rubbing it in about the battle of
Chickamauga, which had just been fought with such disastrous results for
the Union forces.

"Maybe we didn't eat you up at Chicka