en bitten by a snake," said the drummer. "They have
only one snake in town, and when I got to it the other day after
standing in line for nearly half a day it was too tired to bite."

It was prohibition country. As soon as the train pulled up, a seedy
little man with a covered basket on his arm hurried to the open windows
of the smoker and exhibited a quart bottle filled with rich, dark fluid.

"Want to buy some nice cold tea?" he asked, with just the suspicion of a
wink.

Two thirsty-looking cattlemen brightened visibly, and each paid a dollar
for a bottle.

"Wait until you get outer the station before you take a drink," the
little man cautioned them. "I don't wanter get in trouble."

He found three other customers before the train pulled out, in each case
repeating his warning.

"You seem to be doing a pretty good business," remarked a man who had
watched it all. "But I don't see why you'd run any more risk of getting
in trouble if they took a drink before the train started."

"Ye don't, hey? Well, what them bottles had in 'em, pardner, was real
cold tea."

PROMOTING

Mr. Harcourt, the Secretary of State for the Colonies, at the British
North Borneo dinner, said that a City friend of his was approached with
a view to floating a rubber company. His friend was quite ready. "How
many trees have you?" he asked. "We have not got any trees," was the
answer. "How much land have you?" "We have no land." "What then have you
got?" "I have a bag of seeds!"

There are many tales about the caution of Russell Sage and the
cleverness with which he outwitted those who sought to get some of his
money from him. Two brilliant promoters went to him one time and
presented a scheme. The financier listened for an hour, and when they
departed they were told that Mr. Sage's decision would be mailed to them
in a few days.

"I think we have got Uncle Russell," said one of the promoters. "I
really believe we have won his confidence."

"I fear not," observed the other doubtfully. "He is too suspicious."

"Suspicious? I didn't observe any sign of it."

"Didn't you notice that he counted his fingers after I had shaken hands
with him and we were coming away?"

PROMOTION

Promotion cometh neither from the east nor the west, but from the
cemetery.--_Edward Sanford Martin_.

PROMPTNESS

"Are you first in anything at school, Earlie?"

"First out of the building when the bell rings."

The head of a