had a
sheet iron cook stove strapped on his back. Tied around his neck were a
dozen packages containing bread, flour, bacon and other eatables. The
Whale gazed at his opponent in amazement.

"Whar yo' vittles?" demanded the Human Steamboat.

"Vittles fo' what?" asked the Whale.

"Don't yo' ask me fo' nothin' on the way ovah," warned the Steamboat.
"Mah fust stop is New York an' mah next stop is London."

SYMPATHY

A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it don't cost
anything.

Dwight L. Moody was riding in a car one day when it was hailed by a man
much the worse for liquor, who presently staggered along the car between
two rows of well-dressed people, regardless of tender feet.

Murmurs and complaints arose on all sides and demands were heard that
the offender should be ejected at once.

But amid the storm of abuse one friendly voice was raised. Mr. Moody
rose from his seat, saying:

"No, no, friends! Let the man sit down and be quiet."

The drunken one turned, and, seizing the famous evangelist by the hand,
exclaimed:

"Thank ye, sir--thank ye! I see you know what it is to be drunk."

The man rushed excitedly into the smoking car. "A lady has fainted in
the next car! Has anybody got any whiskey?" he asked.

Instantly a half-dozen flasks were thrust out to him. Taking the nearest
one, he turned the bottle up and took a big drink, then, handing the
flask back, said, "Thank you. It always did make me feel sick to see a
lady faint."

A tramp went to a farmhouse, and sitting down in the front yard began to
eat the grass.

The housewife's heart went out to him: "Poor man, you must indeed be
hungry. Come around to the back."

The tramp beamed and winked at the hired man.

"There," said the housewife, when the tramp hove in sight, pointing to a
circle of green grass, "try that: you will find that grass so much
longer."

Strengthen me by sympathizing with my strength, not my weakness.--_Amos
Bronson Alcott_.

SYNONYMS

"I don't believe any two words in the English language are synonymous."

"Oh, I don't know. What's the matter with 'raise' and 'lift'?"

"There's a big difference. I 'raise' chickens and have a neighbor who
has been known to 'lift' them."

TABLE MANNERS

_See_ Dining.

TACT

It was at the private theatricals, and the young man wished to
compliment his hostess, saying:

"Madam, you played your part splendidly. It fits you to