it safe to stay
over and see the famous leaning tower.

Mr. Hiram Jones had just returned from a personally conducted tour of
Europe.

"I suppose," commented a friend, "that when you were in England you did
as the English do and dropped your H's."

"No," moodily responded the returned traveller; "I didn't. I did as the
Americans do. I dropped my V's and X's."

Then he slowly meandered down to the bank to see if he couldn't get the
mortgage extended.--_W. Hanny_.

A number of tourists were recently looking down the crater of Vesuvius.
An American gentleman said to his companion.

"That looks a good deal like the infernal regions."

An English lady, overhearing the remark, said to another:

"Good gracious! How these Americans do travel."

An American tourist hailing from the west was out sight-seeing in
London. They took him aboard the old battle-ship _Victory_, which was
Lord Nelson's flagship in several of his most famous naval triumphs. An
English sailor escorted the American over the vessel, and coming to a
raised brass tablet on the deck he said, as he reverently removed his
hat:

"'Ere, sir, is the spot where Lord Nelson fell."

"Oh, is it?" replied the American, blankly. "Well, that ain't nothin'. I
nearly tripped on the blame thing myself."

On one of the famous scenic routes of the west there is a brakeman who
has lost the forefinger of his right hand.

His present assignment as rear-end brakeman on a passenger train places
him in the observation car, where he is the target for an almost
unceasing fusillade of questions from tourists who insist upon having
the name, and, if possible, the history, of all the mountain canons and
points of interest along the route.

One especially enthusiastic lady tourist had kept up her Gattling fire
of questions until she had thoroughly mastered the geography of the
country. Then she ventured to ask the brakeman how he had lost his
finger:

"Cut off in making a coupling between cars, I suppose?"

"No, madam; I wore that finger off pointing out scenery to tourists."

Know most of the rooms of thy native country before thou goest over the
threshold thereof.--_Fuller_.

When I was at home, I was in a better place; but travelers must be
content.--_Shakespeare_.

As the Spanish proverb says, "He who would bring home the wealth of the
Indies must carry the wealth of the Indies with him." So it is in
traveling: a man must carry knowledge with him, if