g: "Strange
that two such estimable women as ourselves should have been overlooked
in the great matrimonial market! Now that lady," pointing to another who
was passing, "has been widowed four times, two of her husbands having
been cremated. The woman," she continued, "is plain and uninteresting,
and yet she has them to burn."

WIND

VISITOR--"What became of that other windmill that was here last year?"

NATIVE--"There was only enough wind for one, so we took it down."

Whichever way the wind doth blow
Some heart is glad to have it so;
Then blow it east, or blow it west,
The wind that blows, that wind is best.

--_Caroline A. Mason_.

WINDFALLS

A Nebraska man was carried forty miles by a cyclone and dropped in a
widow's front yard. He married the widow and returned home worth about
$30,000 more than when he started.

WINE

When our thirsty souls we steep,
Every sorrow's lull'd to sleep.
Talk of monarchs! we are then
Richest, happiest, first of men.

When I drink, my heart refines
And rises as the cup declines;
Rises in the genial flow,
That none but social spirits know.

To-day we'll haste to quaff our wine,
As if to-morrow ne'er should shine;
But if to-morrow comes, why then--
We'll haste to quaff our wine again.

Let me, oh, my budding vine,
Spill no other blood than thine.
Yonder brimming goblet see,
That alone shall vanquish me.

I pray thee, by the gods above,
Give me the mighty howl I love,
And let me sing, in wild delight.
"I will--I will be mad to-night!"

When Father Time swings round his scythe,
Intomb me 'neath the bounteous vine,
So that its juices red and blythe,
May cheer these thirsty bones of mine.

--_Eugene Field_.

_See also_ Drinking.

WISHES

George Washington drew a long sigh and said: "Ah wish Ah had a hundred
watermillions."

Dixie's eyes lighted. "Hum! Dat would suttenly be fine! An' ef yo' had a
hundred watermillions would yo' gib me fifty?"

"No, Ah wouldn't."

"Wouldn't yo' give me twenty-five?"

"No, Ah wouldn't gib yo' no twenty-five."

Dixie gaxed with reproachful eyes at his close-fisted friend. "Seems to
me, you's powahful stingy, George Washington," he said, and then
continued in a heartbroken voice. "Wouldn't yo' gib me one?"

"No, Ah wouldn't gib yo' one. Look a' heah, nigger! Are yo' so good for
nuffen lazy dat yo' cahn't wish fo' yo' own watermi