And the oftener you come here the more I'll adore you.

--_Thomas O. Davis_.

WEST, THE

EASTERN LADY (traveling in Montana)--"The idea of calling this the
'Wild-West'! Why, I never saw such politeness anywhere."

COWBOY--"We're allers perlite to ladies, ma'am."

EASTERN LADY--"Oh, as for that, there is plenty of politeness
everywhere. But I refer to the men. Why, in New York the men behave
horribly towards one another; but here they treat one another as
delicately as gentlemen in a drawing-room."

COWBOY--"Yes, ma'am; it's safer."--_Abbie C. Dixon_.

WHISKY

This is from an Irish priest's sermon, as quoted in Samuel M. Hussey's
"Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent": "'It's whisky makes you bate
your wives; it's whisky makes your homes desolate; it's whisky makes you
shoot your landlords, and'--with emphasis, as he thumped the
pulpit--'it's whisky makes you miss them.'"

In a recent trial of a "bootlegger" in western Kentucky a witness
testified that he had purchased some "squirrel" whisky from the
defendant.

"Squirrel whisky?" questioned the court.

"Yes, you know: the kind that makes you talk nutty and want to climb
trees."

General Carter, who went to Texas in command of the regulars sent south
for maneuvers along the Mexican border, tells this story of an old Irish
soldier: The march had been a long and tiresome one, and as the bivouac
was being made for the night, the captain noticed that Pat was looking
very much fatigued. Thinking that a small drop of whisky might do him
good, the captain called Pat aside and said, "Pat, will you have a wee
drink of whisky?" Pat made no answer, but folded his arms in a
reverential manner and gazed upward. The captain repeated the question
several times, but no answer from Pat, who stood silent and motionless,
gazing devoutly into the sky. Finally the captain, taking him by the
shoulder and giving him a vigorous shake said: "Pat, why don't you
answer? I said, 'Pat, will you have a drink of whisky?'" After looking
around in considerable astonishment Pat replied: "And is it yez,
captain? Begorrah and I thought it was an angel spakin' to me."

_See_ also Drinking.

WHISKY BREATH

_See_ Breath.

WIDOWS

During the course of conversation between two ladies in a hotel parlor
one said to the other: "Are you married?" "No, I am not," replied the
other. "Are you?"

"No," was the reply, "I, too, am on the single list," addin