llions?"

"Man wants but little here below
Nor wants that little long,"
'Tis not with me exactly so;
But'tis so in the song.
My wants are many, and, if told,
Would muster many a score;
And were each a mint of gold,
I still should long for more.

--_John Quincy Adams_.

WITNESSES

"The trouble is," said Wilkins as he talked the matter over with his
counsel, "that in the excitement of the moment I admitted that I had
been going too fast, and wasn't paying any attention to the road just
before the collision. I'm afraid that admission is going to prove
costly."

"Don't wory about that," said his lawyer. "I'll bring seven witnesses
to testify that they wouldn't believe you under oath."

On his eighty-fourth birthday, Paul Smith, the veteran Adirondock
hotel-keeper, who started life as a guide and died owning a million
dollars' worth of forest land, was talking about boundary disputes
with an old friend.

"Didn't you hear of the lawsuit over a title that I had with Jones
down in Malone last summer?" asked Paul. The friend had not heard.

"Well," said Paul, "it was this way. I sat in the court room before
the case opened with my witnesses around me. Jones busted in, stopped,
looked my witnesses over carefully, and said: 'Paul, are those your
witnesses?' 'They are,' said I. 'Then you win,' said he. 'I've had
them witnesses twice myself.'"

WIVES

"Father," said a little boy, "had Solomon seven hundred wives?"

"I believe so, my son," said the father.

"Well, father, was he the man who said, 'Give me liberty or give me
death?'"--_Town Topics_.

A charitable lady was reading the Old Testament to an aged woman who
lived at the home for old people, and chanced upon the passage
concerning Solomon's household.

"Had Solomon really seven hundred wives?" inquired the old woman,
after reflection.

"Oh, yes, Mary! It is so stated in the Bible."

"Lor', mum!" was the comment. "What privileges them early Christians
had!"

CASEY--"Now, phwat wu'u'd ye do in a case loike thot?"

CLANCY--"Loike phwat?"

CASEY--"Th' walkin' diligate tils me to stroike, an' me ould woman
orders me to ke-ape on wurrkin'."

Governor Vardaman, of Mississippi, was taken to task because he had
made a certain appointment, a friend maintaining that another man
should have received the place. The governor listened quietly and then
said:

"Did I ever tell you about Mose Williams? One d