upted the producer. "Why, don't you know that the
law don't permit us to show an actual robbery on the screen?"--_P.H.
Carey_.

"Why don't women have the same sense of humor that men possess?" asked
Mr. Torkins.

"Perhaps," answered his wife gently, "it's because we don't attend the
same theaters."

It appears that at the rehearsal of a play, a wonderful climax had been
reached, which was to be heightened by the effective use of the usual
thunder and lightning. The stage-carpenter was given the order. The
words were spoken, and instantly a noise which resembled a succession of
pistol-shots was heard off the wings.

"What on earth are you doing, man?" shouted the manager, rushing behind
the scenes. "Do you call that thunder? It's not a bit like it."

"Awfully sorry, sir," responded the carpenter; "but the fact is, sir, I
couldn't hear you because of the storm. That was real thunder, sir!"

Everybody has his own theater, in which he is manager, actor, prompter,
playwright, sceneshifter, boxkeeper, doorkeeper, all in one, and
audience into the bargain.--_J.C. and A.W. Hare_.

THIEVES

GEORGIA LAWYER (to colored prisoner)--"Well, Ras, so you want me to
defend you. Have you any money?"

RASTUS--"No; but I'se got a mule, and a few chickens, and a hog or two."

LAWYER--"Those will do very nicely. Now, let's see; what do they accuse
you of stealing?"

RASTUS--"Oh, a mule, and a few chickens, and a hog or two."

At a dinner given by the prime minister of a little kingdom on the
Balkan Peninsula, a distinguished diplomat complained to his host that
the minister of justice, who had been sitting on his left, had stolen
his watch.

"Ah, he shouldn't have done that," said the prime minister, in tones of
annoyance. "I will get it back for you."

Sure enough, toward the end of the evening the watch was returned to its
owner.

"And what did he say?" asked the diplomat.

"Sh-h," cautioned the host, glancing anxiously about him. "He doesn't
know that I have got it back."

Senator "Bob" Taylor, of Tennessee, tells a story of how, when he was
"Fiddling Bob," governor of that state, an old negress came to him and
said:

"Massa Gov'na, we's mighty po' this winter, and Ah wish you would pardon
mah old man. He is a fiddler same as you is, and he's in the
pen'tentry."

"What was he put in for?" asked the governor.

"Stead of workin' fo' it that good-fo'-nothin' nigger done stole some
bacon."

"If h