sted, so, after a short pause, he said:
"But Washington accomplished a greater feat than that. He once chucked a
sovereign across the Atlantic."

Pat was busy on a road working with his coat off. There were two
Englishmen laboring on the same road, so they decided to have a joke
with the Irishman. They painted a donkey's head on the back of Pat's
coat, and watched to see him put it on. Pat, of course, saw the donkey's
head on his coat, and, turning to the Englishmen, said:

"Which of yez wiped your face on me coat?"

A district leader went to Sea Girt, in 1912, to see the Democratic
candidate for President. In the course of an animated conversation, the
leader, noticing that Governor Wilson's eyeglasses were perched
perilously near the tip of his nose remarked: "Your glasses, Governor,
are almost on your mouth."

"That's all right," was the quick response. "I want to see what I'm
talking about."

According to the London _Globe_ two Germans were halted at the French
frontier by the customs officers. "We have each to declare three bottles
of red wine," said one of the Germans to the _douaniers_. "How much to
pay?"

"Where are the bottles?" asked the customs man.

"They are within!" laughed the Teuton making a gesture.

The French _douanier_, unruffled, took down his tariff book and read, or
pretended to read: "Wines imported in bottles pay so much, wines
imported in barrels pay so much, and wines _en peaux d'ane_ pay no duty.
You can pass, gentlemen."

A small boy was hoeing corn in a sterile field by the roadside, when a
passer-by stopped and said:

"'Pears to me your corn is rather small."

"Certainly," said the boy; "it's dwarf corn."

"But it looks yaller."

"Certainly; we planted the yaller kind."

"But it looks as if you wouldn't get more than half a crop."

"Of course not; we planted it on halves."

REPORTING

_See_ Journalism; Newspapers.

REPUBLICAN PARTY

The morning after a banquet, during the Democratic convention in
Baltimore, a prominent Republican thus greeted an equally well-known
Democrat:

"I understand there were some Republicans at the banquet last night."

"Oh, yes," said the Democrat genially, "one waited on me."

REPUTATION

Popularity is when people like you; and reputation is when they ought
to, but really can't.--_Frank Richardson_.

RESEMBLANCES

Senator Blackburn is a thorough Kentuckian, and has all the local pride
of o