was at Christmas, and he had been calling on her twice a week for six
months, but had not proposed.

"Ethel," he said, "I--er--am going to ask you an important question."

"Oh, George," she exclaimed, "this is so sudden! Why, I--"

"No, excuse me," he interrupted; "what I want to ask is this: What date
have you and your mother decided upon for our wedding?"

A Scotch beadle led the maiden of his choice to a churchyard and,
pointing to the various headstones, said:

"My folks are all buried there, Jennie. Wad ye like to be buried there
too?"

IMPECUNIOUS LOVER--"Be mine, Amanda, and you will be treated like an
angel."

WEALTHY MAIDEN--"Yes, I suppose so. Nothing to eat, and less to wear.
No, thank you."

The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling.--_Douglas
Jerrold_.

PROPRIETY

There was a young lady of Wilts,
Who walked up to Scotland on stilts;
When they said it was shocking
To show so much stocking,
She answered: "Then what about kilts?"

--_Gilbert K. Chesterton_.

PROSPERITY

May bad fortune follow you all your days
And never catch up with you.

PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL CHURCH

One of our popular New England lecturers tells this amusing
story.

A street boy of diminutive stature was trying to sell some
very young kittens to passers-by. One day he accosted the
late Reverend Phillips Brooks, asking him to purchase, and
recommending them as good Episcopal kittens. Dr. Brooks
laughingly refused, thinking them too small to be taken from
their mother. A few days later a Presbyterian minister who
had witnessed this episode was asked by the same boy to buy the
same kittens. This time the lad announced that they were faithful
Presbyterians.

"Didn't you tell Dr. Brooks last week that they were Episcopal
kittens?" the minister asked sternly.

"Yes sir," replied the boy quickly, "but they's had their eyes
opened since then, sir."

An Episcopal clergyman who was passing his vacation in
a remote country district met an old farmer who declared that
he was a "'Piscopal."

"To what parish do you belong?" asked the clergyman.

"Don't know nawthin' 'bout enny parish," was the answer.

"Who confirmed you, then?" was the next question.

"Nobody," answered the farmer.

"Then how are you an Episcopalian?" asked the clergyman.

"Well," was the reply, "you see it's this way: Last winter
I went to church, an' it was called 'Piscopal, an'