hat man for?"

EMINENT SURGEON--"Two hundred dollars."

MEDICAL STUDENT--"I mean what did he have?"

EMINENT SURGEON--"Two hundred dollars."

The three degrees in medical treatment--Positive, ill; comparative,
pill; superlative, bill.

"What caused the coolness between you and that young doctor? I thought
you were engaged."

"His writing is rather illegible. He sent me a note calling for 10,000
kisses."

"Well?"

"I thought it was a prescription, and took it to the druggist to be
filled."

A tourist while traveling in the north of Scotland, far away from
anywhere, exclaimed to one of the natives: "Why, what do you do when any
of you are ill? You can never get a doctor."

"Nae, sir," replied Sandy. "We've jist to dee a naitural death."

When the physician gives you medicine and tells you to take it, you take
it. "Yours not to reason why; yours but to do and die."

Physicians, of all men, are most happy: whatever good success soever
they have, the world proclaimeth; and what faults they commit, the earth
covereth.--_Quarles_.

This is the way that physicians mend or end us,
Secundum artem: but although we sneer
In health--when ill, we call them to attend us,
Without the least propensity to jeer.

--_Byron_.

_See also_ Bills.

PICKPOCKETS

_See_ Thieves; Wives.

PINS

"Oh, dear!" sighed the wife as she was dressing for a dinner-party, "I
can't find a pin anywhere. I wonder where all the pins go to, anyway?"

"That's a difficult question to answer," replied her husband, "because
they are always pointed in one direction and headed in another."

PITTSBURG

"How about that airship?"

"It went up in smoke."

"Burned, eh?"

"Oh, no. Made an ascension at Pittsburg."

SKYBOUGH--"Why have you put that vacuum cleaner in front of your
airship?"

KLOUDLEIGH--"To clear a path. I have an engagement to sail over
Pittsburg."

A man just back from South America was describing a volcanic
disturbance.

"I was smoking a cigar before the door of my hotel," said he, "when I
was startled by a rather violent earthquake. The next instant the sun
was obscured and darkness settled over the city. Looking in the
direction of the distant volcano, I saw heavy clouds of smoke rolling
from it, with an occasional tongue of flame flashing against the dark
sky.

"Some of the natives about me were on their knees praying; others darted
aimlessly about, crazed wit