ian named Big Smoke, employed as a
missionary to his fellow Smokes.

A white man encountering Big Smoke, asked him what he did for a living.

"Umph!" said Big Smoke, "me preach."

"That so? What do you get for preaching?"

"Me get ten dollars a year."

"Well," said the white man, "that's damn poor pay."

"Umph!" said Big Smoke, "me damn poor preacher."

_See also_ Clergy.

PRESCRIPTIONS

After a month's work in intensely warm weather a gardener in the suburbs
became ill, and the anxious little wife sent for a doctor, who wrote a
prescription after examining the patient. The doctor, upon departing,
said: "Just let your husband take that and you'll find he will be all
right in a short time."

Next day the doctor called again, and the wife opened the door, her face
beaming with smiles. "Sure, that was a wonderful wee bit of paper you
left yesterday," she exclaimed. "William is better to-day."

"I'm glad to hear that," said the much-pleased medical man.

"Not but what I hadn't a big job to get him to swallow it." she
continued, "but, sure, I just wrapped up the wee bit of paper quite
small and put it in a spoonful of jam and William swallowed it
unbeknownst. By night he was entirely better."

PRESENCE OF MIND

"What did you do when you met the train-robber face to face?"

"I explained that I had been interviewed by the ticket-seller, the
luggage-carriers, the dining-car waiters, and the sleeping-car porters
and borrowed a dollar from him."

PRINTERS

The master of all trades: He beats the farmer with his fast "hoe," the
carpenter with his "rule," and the mason in "setting up tall columns";
and he surpasses the lawyer and the doctor in attending to the "cases,"
and beats the parson in the management of the devil.

PRISONS

A man arrested for stealing chickens was brought to trial. The case was
given to the jury, who brought him in guilty, and the judge sentenced
him to three months' imprisonment. The jailer was a jovial man, fond of
a smile, and feeling particularly good on that particular day,
considered himself insulted when the prisoner looking around the cell
told him it was dirty, and not fit for a hog to be put in. One word
brought on another, till finally the jailer told the prisoner if he did
not behave himself he would put him out. To which the prisoner replied:
"I will give you to understand, sir, I have as good a right here as you
have!"

SHERIFF--"Tha