said the Captain, "but until the boilers bust we ain't
goin' that way."

NEATNESS

The neatness of the New England housekeeper is a matter of common
remark, and husbands in that part of the country are supposed to
appreciate their advantages.

A bit of dialogue reported as follows shows that there may be another
side to the matter.

"Martha, have you wiped the sink dry yet?" asked the farmer, as he made
final preparations for the night.

"Yes, Josiah," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I did want a drink, but I guess I can get along until morning."

NEGROES

A colored girl asked the drug clerk for "ten cents' wuth o'
cou't-plaster."

"What color," he asked.

"Flesh cullah, suh."

Whereupon the clerk proffered a box of black court plaster.

The girl opened the box with a deliberation that was ominous, but her
face was unruffled as she noted the color of the contents and said:

"I ast for flesh cullah, an' you done give me skin cullah." A cart
containing a number of negro field hands was being drawn by a mule. The
driver, a darky of about twenty, was endeavoring to induce the mule to
increase its speed, when suddenly the animal let fly with its heels and
dealt him such a kick on the head that he was stretched on the ground in
a twinkling. He lay rubbing his woolly pate where the mule had kicked
him.

"Is he hurt?" asked a stranger anxiously of an older negro who had
jumped from the conveyance and was standing over the prostrate driver.

"No, Boss," was the older man's reply; "dat mule will probably walk kind
o' tendah for a day or two, but he ain't hurt."

In certain parts of the West Indies the negroes speak English with a
broad brogue. They are probably descended from the slaves of the Irish
adventurers who accompanied the Spanish settlers.

A gentleman from Dublin upon arriving at a West Indian port was accosted
by a burly negro fruit vender with, "Th, top uv th' mornin' to ye, an'
would ye be after wantin' to buy a bit o' fruit, sor?"

The Irishman stared at him in amazement.

"An' how long have ye been here?" he finally asked.

"Goin' on three months, yer Honor," said the vender, thinking of the
time he had left his inland home.

"Three months, is it? Only three months an' as black as thot? Faith,
I'll not land!"

Dinah, crying bitterly, was coming down the street with her feet
bandaged.

"Why, what on earth's the matter?" she was asked. "How did you hurt your