re you were running a
fish-market, and now you've got a cheese-shop."

SMITH--"Yes. Well, you see the doctor said I needed a change of air."

The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a
grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for
with a great deal of enjoyment--_Douglas Jerrold_.

OCEAN

A resident of Nahant tells this one on a new servant his wife took down
from Boston.

"Did you sleep well, Mary?" the girl was asked the following morning.

"Sure, I did not, ma'am," was the reply; "the snorin' of the ocean kept
me awake all night."

Love the sea? I dote upon it--from the beach.--_Douglas Jerrold_.

I never was on the dull, tame shore,
But I loved the great sea more and more.

--_Barry Cornwall_.

OFFICE BOYS

"Have you had any experience as an office-boy?"

"I should say I had, mister; why, I'm a dummy director in three
mining-companies now."

OFFICE-SEEKERS

A gentleman, not at all wealthy, who had at one time represented in
Congress, through a couple of terms a district not far from the national
capitol, moved to California where in a year or so he rose to be
sufficiently prominent to become a congressional subject, and he was
visited by the central committee of his district to be talked to.

"We want you," said the spokesman, "to accept the nomination for
Congress."

"I can't do it, gentlemen," he responded promptly.

"You must," the spokesman demanded.

"But I can't," he insisted. "I'm too poor."

"Oh, that will be all right; we've got plenty of money for the
campaign."

"But that is nothing," contended the gentleman; "it's the expense in
Washington. I've been there, and know all about it."

"Well you didn't lose by it, and it doesn't cost any more because you
come from California."

The gentleman became very earnest.

"Doesn't it?" he exclaimed in a business-like tone. "Why my dear sirs, I
used to have to send home every month about half a dozen busted
office-seeker constituents, and the fare was only $3 apiece, and I could
stand it, but it would cost me over $100 a head to send them out here,
and I'm no millionaire; therefore, as much as I regret it, I must insist
on declining."

"On a trip to Washington," said Col. W.F. Cody. "I had for a companion
Sousa, the band leader. We had berths opposite each other. Early one
morning as we approached the capital I thought I would have a little
fun