nt for his client and handed
him one dollar.

"What's this?" asked the man.

"That's your damages, after taking out my fee, the cost of appeal and
other expenses," replied the counsel.

The man looked at the dollar, turned it over and carefully scanned the
other side. Then looked up at the lawyer and said: "What's the matter
with this dollar? Is it counterfeit?"

Deceive not thy Physician, Confessor nor Lawyer.

A Sergeant of the Lawe, war and wys
Ther was also, ful riche of excellence.
Discreet he was, and of greet reverence:
He seemed swich, his wordes weren so wyse.
* * *
No-wher so bisy a man as he ther nas,
And yet he seemed bisier than he was.

--_Chaucer_.

LAZINESS

A tourist in the mountains of Tennessee once had dinner with a querulous
old mountaineer who yarned about hard times for fifteen minutes at a
stretch.

"Why, man," said the tourist, "you ought to be able to make lots of
money shipping green corn to the northern market."

"Yes, I otter," was the sullen reply.

"You have the land, I suppose, and can get the seed."

"Yes, I guess so."

"Then why don't you go into the speculation?"

"No use, stranger," sadly replied the cracker, "the old woman is too
lazy to do the plowin' and plantin'."

While the train was waiting on a side track down in Georgia, one of the
passengers walked over to a cabin near the track, in front of which sat
a cracker dog, howling. The passenger asked a native why the dog was
howling.

"Hookworm," said the native. "He's lazy."

"But," said the stranger, "I was not aware that the hookworm is
painful."

"'Taint," responded the garrulous native.

"Why, then," the stranger queried, "should the dog howl?"

"Lazy."

"But why does laziness make him howl?"

"Wal," said the Georgian, "that blame fool dawg is sittin' on a
sand-bur, an' he's too tarnation lazy to get off, so he jes' sets thar
an' howls 'cause it hurts."

"How's times?" inquired a tourist.

"Oh, pretty tolerable," responded the old native who was sitting on a
stump. "I had some trees to cut down, but a cyclone come along and saved
me the trouble."

"Fine."

"Yes, and then the lightning set fire to the brush pile and saved me the
trouble of burnin' it."

"Remarkable. But what are you going to do now?"

"Oh, nothin' much. Jest waitin' for an earthquake to come along and
shake the potatoes out of the ground."

A tramp, after a day or tw