s and cried:

"Rotten!"

Shaw made a curtsey and melted the house with one of his Irish smiles.

"My friend," he said, shrugging his shoulders and indicating the crowd
in front, "I quite agree with you, but what are we two against so many?"

MISERS

There was an old man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket;
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man--
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

A mere madness, to live like a wretch, and die rich.--_Robert Burton_.

MISSIONARIES

SHE--"Poor cousin Jack! And to be eaten by those wretched cannibals!"

HE--"Yes, my dear child; but he gave them their first taste in
religion!"

At a meeting of the Women's Foreign Missionary Society in a large city
church a discussion arose among the members present as to the race of
people that inhabited a far-away land. Some insisted that they were not
a man-eating people; others that they were known to be cannibals.
However, the question was finally decided by a minister's widow, who
said:

"I beg pardon for interrupting, Mrs. Chairman, but I can assure you that
they are cannibals. My husband was a missionary there and they ate him."

MISSIONS

"What in the world are you up to, Hilda?" exclaimed Mrs. Bale, as she
entered the nursery where her six-year-old daughter was stuffing broken
toys, headless dolls, ragged clothes and general debris into an open
box.

"Why, mother," cried Hilda, "can't you see? I'm packing a missionary box
just the way the ladies do; and it's all right," she added reassuringly,
"I haven't put in a single thing that's any good at all!"

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

There was a young fellow named Paul,
Who went to a fancy dress ball;
They say, just for fun
He dressed up like a bun,
And was "et" by a dog in the hall.

A Scottish woman, who was spending her holidays in London, entered a
bric-a-brac shop, in search of something odd to take home to Scotland
with her. After she had inspected several articles, but had found none
to suit her, she noticed a quaint figure, the head and shoulders of
which appeared above the counter.

"What is that Japanese idol over there worth?" she inquired of the
salesman.

The salesman's reply was given in a subdued tone:

"About half a million, madam. That's the proprietor!"

The late James McNeil Whistler was standing bareheaded in a hat shop,
the clerk having taken his hat to another part of th