"What do you think about it, Uncle Bill?" they asked him. "Would you
call Si Perkins a liar?"

"Well," answered Uncle Bill slowly, as he thoughtfully studied the
ceiling, "I don't know as I'd go so far as to call him a liar exactly,
but I do know this much: when feedin' time comes, in order to get any
response from his hogs, he has to get somebody else to call 'em for
him."

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and an ever present help in time
of trouble.

An Idaho guide whose services were retained by some wealthy young
easterners desirous of hunting in the Northwest evidently took them to
be the greenest of tenderfoots, since he undertook to chaff them with a
recital something as follows:

"It was my first grizzly, so I was mighty proud to kill him in a
hand-to-hand struggle. We started to fight about sunrise. When he
finally gave up the ghost, the sun was going down."

At this point the guide paused to note the effect of his story. Not a
word was said by the easterners, so the guide added very slowly, "_for
the second time_."

"I gather, then," said one young gentleman, a dapper little Bostonian,
"that it required a period of two days to enable you to dispose of that
grizzly."

"Two days and a night," said the guide, with a grin. "That grizzly died
mighty hard."

"Choked to death?" asked the Bostonian.

"Yes, _sir_," said the guide.

"Pardon me," continued the Hubbite, "but what did you try to get him to
swallow?"

When by night the frogs are croaking,
Kindle but a torch's fire;
Ha! how soon they all are silent;
Thus Truth silences the liar.

--_Friedrich von Logan_.

_See also_ Epitaphs; Husbands; Politicians; Real estate agents; Regrets.

LIBERTY

Liberty is being free from the things we don't like in order to be
slaves of the things we do like.

A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty
Is worth a whole eternity in bondage.

--_Addison_.

Where liberty dwells, there is my country.--_Benjamin Franklin_.

LIBRARIANS

A country newspaper printed the following announcement: "The Public
Library will close for two weeks, beginning August 3, for the annual
cleaning and vacation of the librarians."

The modern librarian is a genius. All the proof needed is the statement
that the requests for books with queer titles are filled with ones
really wanted. The following are instances:

AS ASKED FOR CORRECT TITLE

_Indecent