r shook her head, emphatically. "Guess I didn't," she
gurgled; "why, it'd be all over heaven in no time."

Get a gossip wound up and she will run somebody down.--_Life_.

"Papa, mamma says that one-half the world doesn't know how the other
half lives."

"Well, she shouldn't blame herself, dear, it isn't her fault."

It is only national history that "repeats itself." Your private history
is repeated by the neighbors.

"You're a terrible scandal-monger, Linkum," said Jorrocks.

"Why in thunder don't you make it a rule to tell only half what you
hear?"

"That's what I do do," said Linkum. "Only I tell the spicy half."

"What," asked the Sunday-school teacher, "is meant by bearing false
witness against one's neighbor?"

"It's telling falsehoods about them," said the one small maid.

"Partly right and partly wrong," said the teacher.

"I know," said another little girl, holding her hand high in the air.
"It's when nobody did anything and somebody went and told about
it."--_H.R. Bennett_.

MAUD--"That story you told about Alice isn't worth repeating."

KATE--"It's young yet; give it time."

SON--"Why do people say 'Dame Gossip'?"

FATHER--"Because they are too polite to leave off the 'e.'"

I cannot tell how the truth may be;
I say the tale as 'twas said to me.

Never tell evil of a man, if you do not know it for a certainty, and if
you do know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, "Why should I tell
it?"--_Lavater_.

GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP

"Don't you think the coal-mines ought to be controlled by the
government?"

"I might if I didn't know who controlled the
government."--_Life_.

GOVERNORS

The governor of a western state was dining with the family of a
Representative in Congress from that state, and opposite him at table
sat the little girl of the family, aged ten. She gazed at the Governor
solemnly throughout the repast.

Finally the youngster asked, "Are you really and truly a governor?"

"Yes," replied the great man laughingly; "I really and truly am."

"I've always wanted to see a governor," continued the child, "for I've
heard Daddy speak of 'em."

"Well," rejoined the Governor, "now that you have seen one, are you
satisfied?"

"No, sir," answered the youngster, without the slightest impertinence,
but with an air of great conviction, "no, sir; I'm disappointed."

GRAFT

"What is meant by graft?" said the inquiring foreigner.

"Graft