g the boys,
Who put their pennies in.

Then Willie wrecked that bank and bought
Sweetmeats and chewing gum.
And to the other envious lads
He never offered some.

"What will we do?" his mother said:
"It is a sad mischance."
His father said: "We'll cultivate
His gift for high finance."

--_Washington Star_.

HICKS--"I've got to borrow $200 somewhere."

WICKS--"Take my advice and borrow $300 while you are about it."

"But I only need $200."

"That doesn't make any difference. Borrow $300 and pay back $100 of it
in two installments at intervals of a month or so. Then the man that you
borrow from will think he is going to get the rest of it."

It is said J. P. Morgan could raise $10,000,000 on his check any minute;
but the man who is raising a large family on $9 a week is a greater
financier than Morgan.

To modernize an old prophecy, "out of the mouths of babes shall come
much worldly wisdom." Mr. K. has two boys whom he dearly loves. One day
he gave each a dollar to spend. After much bargaining, they brought home
a wonderful four-wheeled steamboat and a beautiful train of cars. For
awhile the transportation business flourished, and all was well, but one
day Craig explained to his father that while business had been good, he
could do much better if he only had the capital to buy a train of cars
like Joe's. His arguments must have been good, for the money was
forthcoming. Soon after, little Toe, with probably less logic but more
loving, became possessed of a dollar to buy a steamboat like Craig's.
But Mr. K., who had furnished the additional capital, looked in vain for
the improved service. The new rolling stock was not in evidence, and
explanations were vague and unsatisfactory, as is often the case in the
railroad game at which men play. It took a stern court of inquiry to
develop the fact that the railroad and steamship had simply changed
hands--and at a mutual profit of one hundred per cent. And Mr. K., as he
told his neighbor, said it was worth that much to know that his boys
would not need much of a legacy from him.--_P.A. Kershaw_.

An old artisan who prided himself on his ability to drive a close
bargain contracted to paint a huge barn in the neighborhood for the
small sum of twelve dollars.

"Why on earth did you agree to do it for so little?" his brother
inquired.

"Well," said the old painter, "you see, the owner is a mighty onreliable
man. If I'd said I'd charge him