ned to go
She whacked me once again!

--_La Touche Hancock_.

So in the Libyan fable it is told
That once an eagle stricken with a dart,
Said, when he saw the fashion of the shaft,
"With our own feathers, not by others' hands,
Are we now smitten."

--_Aeschylus_.

FATHERS

A director of one of the great transcontinental railroads was showing
his three-year-old daughter the pictures in a work on natural history.
Pointing to a picture of a zebra, he asked the baby to tell him what it
represented. Baby answered "Coty."

Pointing to a picture of a tiger in the same way, she answered "Kitty."
Then a lion, and she answered "Doggy." Elated with her seeming quick
perception, he then turned to the picture of a Chimpanzee and said:

"Baby, what is this?"

"Papa."

FAULTS

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two--
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

--_Le Crabbe_.

FEES

_See_ Tips.

FEET

BIG MAN (with a grouch)--"Will you be so kind as to get off my feet?"

LITTLE MAN (with a bundle)--"I'll try, sir. Is it much of a walk?"

FIGHTING

"Who gave ye th' black eye, Jim?"

"Nobody give it t' me; I had t' fight fer it."--_Life_.

"There! You have a black eye, and your nose is bruised, and your coat is
torn to bits," said Mamma, as her youngest appeared at the door. "How
many times have I told you not to play with that bad Jenkins boy?"

"Now, look here, Mother," said Bobby, "do I look as if we'd been
playing?"

Two of the leading attorneys of Memphis, who had been warm friends for
years, happened to be opposing counsel in a case some time ago. The
older of the two was a man of magnificent physique, almost six feet
four, and built in proportion, while the younger was barely five feet
and weighed not more than ninety pounds.

In the course of his argument the big man unwittingly made some remark
that aroused the ire of his small adversary. A moment later he felt a
great pulling and tugging at his coat tails. Looking down, he was
greatly astonished to see his opponent wildly gesticulating and dancing
around him.

"What on earth are you trying to do there, Dudley?" he asked.

"By Gawd, suh, I'm fightin', suh!"

An Irishman boasted that he could lick any man in Boston, yes,
Massachusetts, and finally he added New England. When he came to, he
said: "I tried to cover too much territory."

"Dose Irish make me