ead writing."

EFFICIENCY

An American motorist went to Germany in his car to the army maneuvers.
He was especially impressed with the German motor ambulances. As the
tourist watched the maneuvers from a seat under a tree, the axle of one
of the motor ambulances broke. Instantly the man leaped out, ran into
the village, returned in a jiffy with a new axle, fixed it in place with
wonderful skill, and teuffed-teuffed off again almost as good as new.

"There's efficiency for you," said the American admirably. "There's
German efficiency for you. No matter what breaks, there's always a stock
at hand from which to supply the needed part."

And praising the remarkable instance of German efficiency he had just
witnessed, the tourist returned to the village and ordered up his car.
But he couldn't use it. The axle was missing.

A curious little man sat next an elderly, prosperous looking man in a
smoking car.

"How many people work in your office?" he asked.

"Oh," responded the elderly man, getting up and throwing away his cigar,
"I should say, at a rough guess, about two-thirds of them."

EGOTISM

In the Chicago schools a boy refused to sew, thinking it below the
dignity of a man of ten years.

"Why," said the teacher, "George Washington did his own sewing in the
wars, and do you think you are better than George Washington?"

"I don't know," replied the boy seriously. "Only time can tell that."

John D. Rockefeller tells this story on himself:

"Golfing one bright winter day I had for caddie a boy who didn't know
me.

"An unfortunate stroke landed me in clump of high grass.

"'My, my,' I said, 'what am I to do now?'

"'See that there tree?' said the boy, pointing to a tall tree a mile
away. 'Well, drive straight for that.'

"I lofted vigorously, and, fortunately, my ball soared up into the air;
it landed, and it rolled right on to the putting green.

"'How's that, my boy?' I cried.

"The caddie stared at me with envious eyes.

"'Gee, boss,' he said, 'if I had your strength and you had my brains
what a pair we'd make!'"

The late Marshall Field had a very small office-boy who came to the
great merchant one day with a request for an increase in wages.

"Huh!" said Mr. Field, looking at him as if through a magnifying-glass.
"Want a raise, do you? How much are you getting?"

"Three dollars a week," chirped the little chap.

"Three dollars a week!" exclaimed his employer. "Why, whe