You see there was a celebration last
night and--"

Mr. Hearst sank back in his chair and remarked in his quiet way:

"For a man who don't drink I think I suffer more from the effects of it
than anybody in the world."

"What is a drunken man like, Fool?"

"Like a drowned man, a fool and a madman: one draught above heat makes
him a fool; the second mads him; and a third drowns him."--_Shakespeare_.

DYSPEPSIA

"Ah," she sighed "for many years I've suffered from dyspepsia."

"And don't you take anything for it?" her friend asked. "You look
healthy enough."

"Oh," she replied, "I haven't indigestion: my husband has."

ECHOES

An American and a Scotsman were walking one day near the foot of one of
the Scotch mountains. The Scotsman, wishing to impress the visitor,
produced a famous echo to be heard in that place. When the echo returned
clearly after nearly four minutes, the proud Scotsman, turning to the
Yankee exclaimed:

"There, mon, ye canna show anything like that in your country."

"Oh, I don't know," said the American, "I guess we can better that. Why
in my camp in the Rockies, when I go to bed I just lean out of my
window and call out, 'Time to get up: wake up!' and eight hours
afterward the echo comes back and wakes me."

ECONOMY

An economist is usually a man who can save money by cutting down some
other person's expenses.

Economy is going without something you do want in case you should, some
day, want something which you probably won't want.--_Anthony Hope_.

Economy is a way of spending money without getting any fun out of it.

Ther's lots o' difference between thrift an' tryin' t' revive a last
year's straw hat.--_Abe Martin_.

Economy is a great revenue.--_Cicero_.

_See also_ Domestic finance; Saving; Thrift.

EDITORS

Recipe for an editor:

Take a personal hatred of authors,
Mix this with a fiendish delight
In refusing all efforts of genius
And maiming all poets on sight.

--_Life_.

The city editor of a great New York daily was known in the newspaper
world as a martinet and severe disciplinarian. Some of his caustic and
biting criticisms are classics. Once, however, the tables were turned
upon him in a way that left him speechless for days.

A reporter on the paper wrote an article that the city editor did not
approve of. The morning of publication this reporter drifted into the
office and encountered his chief, w