T MUSIC CRITIC--"His playing was above criticism!"

As soon
Seek roses in December--ice in June,
Hope, constancy in wind, or corn in chaff;
Believe a woman or an epitaph,
Or any other thing that's false, before
You trust in critics.

--_Byron_.

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.--_Disraeli_.

_See also_ Dramatic criticism.

CRUELTY

"Why do you beat your little son? It was the cat that upset the vase of
flowers."

"I can't beat the cat. I belong to the S.P.C.A."

CUCUMBERS

Consider the ways of the little green cucumber, which never does its
best fighting till it's down.--Stanford Chaparral.

CULTURE

_See_ Kultur.

CURFEW

A former resident of Marshall, Mo., was asking about the old town.

"I understand they have a curfew law out there now," he said.

"No," his informant answered, "they did have one, but they abandoned
it."

"What was the matter?"

"Well, the bell rang at 9 o'clock, and almost everyone complained that
it woke them up."

CURIOSITY

The Christmas church services were proceeding very successfully when a
woman in the gallery got so interested that she leaned out too far and
fell over the railing. Her dress caught in a chandelier, and she was
suspended in mid-air. The minister noticed her undignified position and
thundered at the congregation:

"Any person in this congregation who turns around will be struck
stone-blind."

A man, whose curiosity was getting the better of him, but who dreaded
the clergyman's warning, finally turned to his companion and said:

"I'm going to risk one eye."

A one-armed man entered a restaurant at noon and seated himself next to
a dapper little other-people's-business man. The latter at once noticed
his neighbor's left sleeve hanging loose and kept eying it in a
how-did-it-happen sort of a way. The one-armed man paid no attention to
him but kept on eating with his one hand. Finally the inquisitive one
could stand it no longer. He changed his position a little, cleared his
throat, and said: "I beg pardon, sir, but I see you have lost an arm."

The one-armed man picked up his sleeve with his right hand and peered
anxiously into it. "Bless my soul!" he exclaimed, looking up with great
surprise. "I do believe you're right."

_See also_ Wives.

CYCLONES

_See_ Windfalls.

DACHSHUNDS

A little boy was entertai