ad!"

"Oh, ain't he?" cut in Stevens. "Gosh! I should be if any one kicked me
like that!"

One would have it that a collie is the most sagacious of dogs, while the
other stood up for the setter.

"I once owned a setter," declared the latter, "which was very
intelligent. I had him on the street one day, and he acted so queerly
about a certain man we met that I asked the man his name, and--"

"Oh, that's an old story!" the collie's advocate broke in sneeringly.
"The man's name was Partridge, of course, and because of that the dog
came to a set. Ho, ho! Come again!"

"You're mistaken," rejoined the other suavely. "The dog didn't come
quite to a set, though almost. As a matter of fact, the man's name was
Quayle, and the dog hesitated on account of the spelling!"--_P. R.
Benson_.

The more one sees of men the more one likes dogs.

_See also_ Dachshunds.

DOMESTIC FINANCE

"Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist
himself."

"As to how?"

"Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out
yet."--_Washington Herald_.

A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a
young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set
himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she
had finished her story she said:

"Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your
dear mamma?"

"Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly.

"But why not?"

"Ain't we got a good house to live in?"

"Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know."

"Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?"

"Yes, but that won't last forever."

"It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good
looker, ma!"

Mamma gave up right there.

"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife
who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he
received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to
accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check.

_See also_ Trouble.

DOMESTIC RELATIONS

There was a young man of Dunbar,
Who playfully poisoned his Ma;
When he'd finished his work,
He remarked with a smirk,
"This will cause quite a family jar."

_See also_ Families; Marriage.

DRAMA

The average modern play calls in the first act for all our faith, in the
second for all our hope, and in the