mother replied: "No, your papa must not be disturbed."

But the little one came back with a clincher:

"Mamma," she declared solemnly, "I am a sick woman, and I want to see my
minister."

PROFESSOR--"Now, Mr. Jones, assuming you were called to attend a patient
who had swallowed a coin, what would be your method of procedure?"

YOUNG MEDICO--"I'd send for a preacher, sir. They'll get money out of
anyone."

Archbishop Ryan was once accosted on the streets of Baltimore by a man
who knew the archbishop's face, but could not quite place it.

"Now, where in hell have I seen you?" he asked perplexedly.

"From where in hell do you come, sir?"

A Duluth pastor makes it a point to welcome any strangers cordially, and
one evening, after the completion of the service, he hurried down the
aisle to station himself at the door.

He noticed a Swedish girl, evidently a servant, so he welcomed her to
the church, and expressed the hope that she would be a regular
attendant. Finally he said if she would be at home some evening during
the week he would call.

"T'ank you," she murmured bashfully, "but ay have a fella."

A minister of a fashionable church in Newark had always left the
greeting of strangers to be attended to by the ushers, until he read the
newspaper articles in reference to the matter.

"Suppose a reporter should visit our church?" said his wife.

"Wouldn't it be awful?"

"It would," the minister admitted.

The following Sunday evening he noticed a plainly dressed woman in one
of the free pews. She sat alone and was clearly not a member of the
flock. After the benediction the minister hastened and intercepted her
at the door.

"How do you do?" he said, offering his hand, "I am very glad to have you
with us."

"Thank you," replied the young woman.

"I hope we may see you often in our church home," he went on. "We are
always glad to welcome new faces."

"Yes, sir."

"Do you live in this parish?" he asked.

The girl looked blank.

"If you will give me your address my wife and I will call on you some
evening."

"You wouldn't need to go far, sir," said the young woman, "I'm your
cook!"

Bishop Goodsell, of the Methodist Episcopal church, weighs over two
hundred pounds. It was with mingled emotions, therefore that he read the
following in _Zion's Herald_ some time ago:

"The announcement that our New England bishop, Daniel A. Goodsell, has
promised to preach at the Willimantic camp meeti