ther
Abraham."

The next one made a low bow and said: "Good morning, Father Isaac."

Young Hayes then made his bow and said: "Good morning Father Jacob."

The old man looked at them a moment and then said: "Young men, I am
neither Abraham, Isaac nor Jacob. I am Saul, the son of Kish, and I am
out looking for my father's asses, and lo, I have found them."

A western college boy amused himself by writing stories and giving them
to papers for nothing. His father objected and wrote to the boy that he
was wasting his time. In answer the college lad wrote:

"So, dad, you think I am wasting my time in writing for the local papers
and cite Johnson's saying that the man who writes, except for money, is
a fool. I shall act upon Doctor Johnson's suggestion and write for
money. Send me fifty dollars."

The president of an eastern university had just announced in chapel that
the freshman class was the largest enrolled in the history of the
institution. Immediately he followed the announcement by reading the
text for the morning: "Lord, how are they increased that trouble me!"

STUDE.--"Is it possible to confide a secret to you?"

FRIEND--"Certainly. I will be as silent as the grave."

STUDE--"Well, then, I have a pressing need for two bucks."

FRIEND--"Do not worry. It is as if I had heard nothing." --_-Michigan
Gargoyle_.

"Why did you come to college, anyway? You are not studying," said the
Professor.

"Well," said Willie, "I don't know exactly myself. Mother says it is to
fit me for the Presidency; Uncle Bill, to sow my wild oats; Sis, to get
a chum for her to marry, and Pa, to bankrupt the family."

A young Irishman at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his
uncle as follows:

"Dear Uncle.--If you could see how I blush for shame while I
am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have
to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express
myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die.
I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer.
Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and
affectionate nephew.

"P.S.--Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have
been running after the messenger in order to take the letter
from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something
may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost."

The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the eme