rgency. He
replied as follows:

"My Dear Jack--Console yourself and blush no more. Providence
has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your
affectionate uncle."

The professor was delivering the final lecture of the term. He dwelt
with much emphasis on the fact that each student should devote all the
intervening time preparing for the final examinations.

"The examination papers are now in the hands of the printer. Are there
any questions to be asked?"

Silence prevailed. Suddenly a voice from the rear inquired:

"Who's the printer?"

It was Commencement Day at a well-known woman's college, and the father
of one of the young women came to attend the graduation exercises. He
was presented to the president, who said, "I congratulate you, sir, upon
your extremely large and affectionate family."

"Large and affectionate?" he stammered and looking very much surprised.

"Yes, indeed," said the president. "No less than twelve of your
daughter's brothers have called frequently during the winter to take her
driving and sleighing, while your eldest son escorted her to the theater
at least twice a week. Unusually nice brothers they are."

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its
great scholars great men.--_O.W. Holmes_.

_See also_ Harvard university; Scholarship.

COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES

The college is a coy maid--
She has a habit quaint
Of making eyes at millionaires
And winking at the taint.

--_Judge_.

"What is a 'faculty'?"

"A 'faculty' is a body of men surrounded by red tape."--_Cornell Widow_.

Yale University is to have a ton of fossils. Whether for the faculty or
for the museums is not announced.--_The Atlanta Journal_.

FIRST TRUSTEE--"But this ancient institution of learning will fail
unless something is done."

SECOND TRUSTEE--"True; but what can we do? We have already raised the
tuition until it is almost 1 per cent of the fraternity fees."--_Puck_.

The president of the university had dark circles under his eyes. His
cheek was pallid; his lips were trembling; he wore a hunted expression.

"You look ill," said his wife. "What is wrong, dear?"

"Nothing much," he replied. "But--I--I had a fearful dream last night,
and I feel this morning as if I--as if I--" It was evident that his
nervous system was shattered.

"What was the dream?" asked his wife.

"I--I--dreamed the trustees required that--