o," replied Edison; "genius is _per_spiration."

_Took the Wrong House_

On one of the Southern railroads there is a station-building that is
commonly known by travelers as the smallest railroad station in
America. It is of this station that the story is told that an old
farmer was expecting a chicken-house to arrive there, and he sent one
of his hands, a newcomer, to fetch it. Arriving there the man saw the
house, loaded it on to his wagon and started for home. On the way he
met a man in uniform with the words "Station Agent" on his cap.

"Say, hold on. What have you got on that wagon?" he asked.

"My chicken-house, of course," was the reply.

"Chicken-house be jiggeredl" exploded the official. "That's the
station!"

_And Tommy Did_

"And now," said the teacher, "I want Tommy to tell the school who was
most concerned when Absalom got hung by the hair ?"

TOMMY: "Abs'lom."

_The Prayer of Cyrus Brown_

"The proper way for a man to pray,"
Said Deacon Lemuel Keyes,
"And the only proper attitude,
Is down upon his knees."

"No, I should say the way to pray,"
Said Reverend Doctor Wise,
"Is standing straight, with outstretched arms,
And rapt and upturned eyes."

"Oh, no; no, no," said Elder Slow,
"Such posture is too proud:
A man should pray with eyes fast closed
And head contritely bowed."

"It seems to me his hands should be
Austerely clasped in front,
With both thumbs pointing toward the ground,"
Said Reverend Doctor Blunt.

"Las' year I fell in Hodgkin's well
Head first," said Cyrus Brown,
"With both my heels a-stickin' up,
My head a-p'inting down,

"An' I made a prayer right then an' there--
Best prayer I ever said,
The prayingest prayer I ever prayed,
A-standing on my head."

--SAM WALTER FOSS.

_Couldn't Tell Which_

Jones had come home later than usual and had ready a good explanation,
but his wife gave him no chance, and immediately began to tell him
what she thought of him. He endured it patiently all evening, quietly
read his paper and went to bed. His wife was still talking.

When he was almost asleep he could hear her still scolding him
unmercifully. He dropped off to sleep and awoke after a couple of
hours, only to hear his wife remark:

"I hope all the women don't have to put up with such conduct as this."

"Annie," said Jones, "are you talking again or yet?"

_The Greater Calami