Well_

A Scotsman went to a dentist with a toothache. The dentist told him
he would only get relief by having it out.

"Then I must hae gas," said the Scotsman.

While the dentist was getting it ready the Scot began to count his
money.

The dentist said, somewhat testily, "You need not pay until the tooth
is out."

"I ken that," said the Scotsman, "but as ye're aboot to mak' me
unconscious I jist want to see hoo I stan'."

_The Same, Only a Little Different_

They were newly married, according to "The New York Sun," and on a
honeymoon trip. They put up at a skyscraper hotel. The bridegroom
felt indisposed and the bride said she would slip out and do a little
shopping. In due time she returned and tripped blithely up to her
room, a little awed by the number of doors that looked all alike.
But she was sure of her own and tapped gently on the panel.

"I'm back, honey; let me in," she whispered.

No answer.

"Honey, honey, let me in!" she called again, rapping louder. Still
no answer.

"Honey, honey, it's Mabel. Let me in."

There was silence for several seconds; then a man's voice, cold and
full of dignity, came from the other side of the door:

"Madam, this is not a beehive; it's a bathroom."

_For Him to Decide_

"Well, well," said the absent-minded professor, as he stood knee-deep
in the bathtub, "what did I get in here for?"

_A Large Corporation_

An old lady, traveling for the first time in a large city, saw a
glaring sign on the front of a high building which read, "The Smith
Manufacturing Company."

As she repeated it aloud slowly she remarked to her nephew: "Lawsy
mercy! Well, I've hearn tell of Smiths all my life, but I never knew
before where they made 'em."

_Accommodating Man_

One day, after the brakeman had been pointing out the window and
explaining the scenery, says the Denver "News," one of the passengers
whispered to the conductor: "Conductor, can you tell me how that
brakeman lost his finger? He seems to be a very nice fellow. It
seems a pity he should be crippled."

"That's just it, ma'am. He is a good fellow. He is so obliging that
he just wore his finger off pointing out the scenery along the line."

_The Early Bird_

The card "Boy Wanted" had been swinging from the window of a
publishing house only a few minutes when a red-headed little tad
climbed to the publisher's office with the sign under his arm.

"Say, mister," he demanded of th