Different Points_

"Father, you were born in California, you say?"

"Yes, my son."

"And mother was born in New York ?"

"Yes."

"And I was born in Indiana?"

"Yes, my boy."

"Well, father, don't it beat the Dutch how we all got together!"

_So Son: So Father_?

A small boy who had been very naughty was first reprimanded, then told
that he must take a whipping. He flew upstairs and hid in the far
corner under a bed. Just then the father came home. The mother told
him what had occurred. He went upstairs and proceeded to crawl under
the bed toward the youngster, who whispered excitedly, "Hello, Pop, is
she after you, too?"

_How Could He_?

"Papa" was becoming impatient at the lateness of the hour when he
remarked: "I can't see why that young fellow who is calling on Minnie
hasn't sense enough to go home. It's near midnight."

"The dear little brother" of the family just then came in, heard his
father's remark, and ventured some light:

"He can't go, father. Sister's sitting on him."

_Couldn't Leave Town_

A lawyer had a horse that always balked when he attempted to cross a
certain bridge leading out of the village. No amount of whipping or
urging would induce him to cross it, so he advertised him for sale:
"To be sold for no other reason than that the owner would like to
leave town."

_He Knew His Father_

"Suppose," said a father to his little boy, "you have half an apple
and I give you another half. How much have you?"

"A whole apple," said the boy.

"Well," continued the father, "suppose you had a half dollar and I
gave you another half dollar. What would you have then?"

"A fit," promptly answered the boy.

_A Valuable Office Boy_

The employer was bending over a table, looking at the directory. The
new office boy slipped up quietly and poked a note into his hand. The
surprised employer opened it, and read:

"Honored Sir--Yer pants is ripped."

_She Had a Question to Ask_

A certain prominent dry-goods merchant is also a Sunday-school
superintendent. Not long since he devoted the last few moments of the
weekly session to an impressive elucidation of the parable of the
Prodigal Son, and afterward asked with due solemnity if any one of the
"little gleaners" present desired to ask a question. Sissy Jones's
hand shot up.

"Very well," he said, designating her with a benevolent finger and a
bland smile, "what is it you would like to know, Cecilia?