at
a country home where a tin basin and a roller-towel on the back porch
sufficed for the family's ablutions. For two mornings the "hired man"
of the household watched in silence the visitor's efforts at making a
toilette under the unfavorable auspices, but when on the third day the
tooth-brush, nail-file, whisk-broom, etc., had been duly used and
returned to their places in the traveler's grip, he could suppress his
curiosity no longer, so boldly put the question: "Say, Mister, air you
always that much trouble to yo'se'f?"

_Overdid it a Bit_

A famous statesman prided himself on his success in campaigning, when
called upon to reach a man's vote through his family pride.

On one of his tours he passed through a country town when he came
suddenly upon a charming group--a comely woman with a bevy of little
ones about her--in a garden. He stopped short, then advanced and
leaned over the front gate.

"Madam," he said In his most ingratiating way, "may I kiss these
beautiful children?"

"Certainly, sir," the lady answered demurely.

"They are lovely darlings," said the campaigner after he had finished
the eleventh. "I have seldom seen more beautiful babies. Are they
all yours, marm?"

The lady blushed deeply.

"Of course they are--the sweet little treasures," he went on. "From
whom else, marm, could they have inherited these limpid eyes, these
rosy cheeks, these profuse curls, these comely figures and these
musical voices?"

The lady continued blushing.

"By-the-way, marm," said the statesman, "may I bother you to tell your
estimable husband that ------, the Republican candidate for Governor,
called upon him this evening?"

"I beg your pardon," said the lady, "I have no husband."

"But these children, madam--you surely are not a widow ?"

"I fear you were mistaken, sir, when you first came up. These are not
my children. This is an orphan asylum!"

_One on the Doctor That Time_

A prominent physician, whose specialty was physical diagnosis,
required his patients, before entering his private consultation-room,
to divest themselves of all superfluous clothing in order to save
time. One day a man presented himself without having complied with
this requirement.

"Why do you come in here without complying with my rules?" demanded
the doctor. "Just step into that side room and remove your clothing
and then I'll see you. Next patient, please!"

The man did as requested, and after a time pr