esented himself in
regular order duly divested of his clothing.

"Now," said the doctor, "what can I do for you ?"

"I just called," replied the man, "to collect that tailoring bill
which you owe us."

_Anxious About Him_

One winter's day a very bowlegged tramp called at a home in Ontario
and stood to warm himself by the kitchen stove. A little boy in the
home surveyed him carefully for some minutes, then finally approaching
him, he said: "Say, mister, you better stand back; you're warping!"

_The Only Way He Could Help_

Chief Justice Matthews, while presiding over the Supreme Court at
Washington, took the several Justices of the Court for a run down
Chesapeake Bay. A stiff wind sprang up, and Justice Gray was getting
decidedly the worst of it. As he leaned over the rail in great
distress, Chief Justice Matthews touched him on the shoulder and said
in a tone of deepest sympathy: "Is there anything I can do for you,
Gray?"

"No, thank you," returned the sick Justice, "unless your Honor can
overrule this motion."

_He Was Willing to Oblige_

A young North Carolina girl is charming, but, like a great many other
charming people, she is poor. She never has more than two evening
gowns in a season, and the ruin of one of them is always a very
serious matter to her. She went to a little dancing-party last week
and she wore a brand-new white frock. During the evening a great big,
red-faced, perspiring man came up and asked her to dance. He wore no
gloves. She looked at his well-meaning but moist hands despairingly,
and thought of the immaculate back of her waist. She hesitated a bit,
and then she said, with a winning smile;

"Of course I'll dance with you, but, if you don't mind, won't you
please use your handkerchief?"

The man looked at her blankly a moment or two. Then a light broke
over his face.

"Why, certainly," he said.

And he pulled out his handkerchief and blew his nose.

_Not All the Time, But_----

A man saw a waiter in a restaurant spill a tureen of tomato soup over
a young lady's white gown.

The young lady, instead of flying into a passion, smiled. She said it
didn't matter. She continued to eat and to talk as though nothing had
happened.

This so impressed the man that he got an introduction to the young
lady, proposed to her at the end of a month or so, and was accepted.

Some time after the marriage he spoke of the tomato-soup accident.

"I shall never fo