_Sixty Girls Not One Too Many_

A New York firm recently hung the following sign at the entrance of a
large building: "Wanted: Sixty girls to sew buttons on the sixth
floor."

_One on the President_

When the President alighted at Red Hill, Virginia, a few months ago,
to see his wife's new cottage, he noticed that an elderly woman was
about to board the train, and, with his usual courtesy, he rushed
forward to assist her. That done, he grasped her hand and gyve it an
"executive shake." This was going too far, and the woman, snatching
her hand away and eying him wrathfully, exclaimed: "Young man, I
don't know who you are, and I don't care a cent; but I must say you
are the freshest somebody I've ever seen in these parts."

_No Doubt of it_

The lesson was from the "Prodigal Son," and the Sunday-school teacher
was dwelling on the character of the elder brother. "But amidst all
the rejoicing," he said, "there was one to whom the preparation of
the feast brought no joy, to whom the prodigal's return gave no
pleasure, but only bitterness; one who did not approve of the feast
being held, and had no wish to attend it. Now can any of you tell
who this was?" There was a short silence, followed by a vigorous
cracking of thumbs, and then from a dozen little mouths came the
chorus: "Please, sir, it was the fatted calf."

_The Lesson Stopped_

The teacher was taking a class in the infant Sabbath-school room and
was making her pupils finish each sentence to show that they
understood her.

"The idol had eyes," the teacher said, "but it could not----"

"See," cried the children.

"It had ears, but it could not----"

"Hear," was the answer.

"It had lips," she said, "but it could not----"

"Speak," once more replied the children.

"It had a nose, but it could not----"

"Wipe it," shouted the children; and the lesson had to stop a moment.

_The Wrong One_

A young man had been calling now and then on a young lady, when one
night, as he sat in the parlor waiting for her to come down, her
mother entered the room instead, and asked him in a very grave, stern
way what his intentions were.

He turned very red, and was about to stammer some incoherent reply,
when suddenly the young lady called down from the head of the stairs:

"Mamma, mamma, that is not the one."

_A Good Pair of Boots_

"You know," said a "smart" young man to a girl, "some one has said
that 'if you would make a la