at in the
reading-room of one of the most exclusive clubs in the Hub there is a
sign that reads:

ONLY LOW CONVERSATION PERMITTED HERE

_Man Wants but Little, etc_.

"Please, mum," said a tramp, "would you be so kind as to let me have
a needle and thread?"

"Well, y-e-s," said the housewife at the door, "I can let you have
that."

"Thankee, mum. Now, you'd oblige me very much if you'd let me have a
bit of cloth for a patch."

"Yes, here is some."

"Thankee very much, mum. It's a little different color from my suit,
I see. Perhaps, mum, you could spare me some of your husband's old
clothes that this patch will match."

"Well, I declare! You're clever, my man, and I'll give you an old
suit. Here is one."

"Thankee greatly, mum. I see it's a little large, mum, but if you'll
kindly furnish me with a square meal, mebby I can fill it out."

_It Certainly Tickled Them_

An amateur artist contributed a painting to the academy for the first
time. With natural curiosity he said to the carrier, "Did you see my
picture safely delivered?"

"Indeed I did," replied the man, "and mighty pleased they seemed to
be with it--leastways, if I may jedge, sir. They didn't say nothin',
but, Lor'! how they did laugh when they got a light on it!"

_Cured Without Medicine_

A clergyman has had in his employ for so long a time a colored man
named Julian that the latter has come to regard himself as something
of a confidential adviser to the divine.

Early one Sunday morning the pastor awoke feeling decidedly ill.
After a futile attempt at breakfast, he summoned his old and faithful
servitor, saying:

"Julian, I want you to go to my assistant, and tell him that, as I am
unwell, he will officiate for me in this morning's service."

At this Julian demurred, and, after some argument, persuaded his
master that he would feel better if he officiated as usual. This the
latter did, and, as predicted by the servant, he did return home
feeling much better.

"Youse better, sah ?" asked the man, meeting his master at the door.

"Very much better, thank you, Julian."

The servant grinned. "What did I tell you, sah? I knowed you'd be
all right jest as soon as you got that sermon outer your system."

_Enthusiasm Squelched_

An enthusiastic citizen, about to visit Europe, was rejoicing over
the fact and the pleasures to come.

"How delightful it will be," he said to his wife, "to tread the
bounding bil