shed your honeymoon yet?"

"I don't know," replied the happy husband, smiling. "I have never
been able to determine the exact meaning of the word honeymoon."

"Well, then, has your wife commenced to do the cooking yet?"

_If You Have a Mole_

No one is said to be without a mole or two, and these are some of the
prognostications that mole-wearers may draw from their brown
ornaments;

A mole on the right side of a man's forehead denotes wonderful luck;
on the right side of a woman's forehead, gifts from the dead.

On the left side of a man's forehead a mole denotes a long term in
prison, on the left side of a woman's forehead, two husbands and a
life of exile.

A man with a mole in the middle of his forehead has a cruel mind; a
woman with such a mole is foolish and envious.

A mole on the neck in man or woman promises a long and happy life,
wealth and fame.

A man with a mole on the left side of the upper lip rarely marries,
and such a mole in the case of a woman denotes suffering.

On the right side of the upper-lip a mole promises great good fortune
to both sexes.

_Her Own Eyes Good Enough for Him_

A little Scotch boy's grandmother was packing his luncheon for him to
take to school one morning. Suddenly looking up in the old lady's
face, he said:

"Grandmother, does yer specs magnify?"

"A little, my child," she answered.

"Aweel, then," said the boy, "I wad juist like it if ye wad tak' them
aff when ye're packin' my loonch."

_How Did He Know_?

After dinner, when the ladies had gone upstairs, the men, over their
coffee and cigars, talked, as men will, of love.

All of a sudden the host cried in a loud voice:

"I will tell you, gentlemen, this is the truth: I have kissed the
dainty Japanese girl. I have kissed the South Sea Island maiden. I
have kissed the slim Indian beauty. And the girls of England, of
Germany, even of America, I have kissed, but it is most true that to
kiss my wife is best of all."

Then a young man cried across the table:

"By Heaven, sir, you are right there!"

_So Mother--So Son_

Vincent was altogether too garrulous in school to please his
teachers. Such punishments as the institution allowed to be meted
out were tried without any apparent effect upon the boy until at last
the head Master decided to mention the lad's fault upon his monthly
report.

So the next report to his father had these words: "Vincent talks a
great deal."

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