ty_

Two or three urchins were running down a long and very steep flight of
steps, when the foremost stumbled and fell headlong twenty to thirty
feet, and was only stopped near the bottom by doubling backward around
the newel-post. It looked as though his back was broken, and that he
was a dead small boy, but he gathered himself up, thrust his hands
anxiously in his trousers' pockets, and ejaculated;

"B' gosh, I b'l'eve I lost a cent."

_Her First Railroad Ride_

An old lady in Missouri took her first railroad trip last week, says
"The Butter Democrat." She noticed the bell-cord overhead, and,
turning to a boy, she said: "Sonny, what's that for?" "That, marm,"
he said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "is to ring the bell
when you want something to eat."

Shortly afterward the old lady reached her umbrella up to the cord and
gave it a vigorous pull. The train was in the middle of a trestle.
The whistle sounded, the brakes were pulled on, the train began to
slacken its speed, windows were thrown up, questions asked, and
confusion reigned among the passengers. The old lady sat calmly
through it all.

Presently the conductor came running through the train and asked: "Who
pulled the bell?"

"I did," replied the old lady meekly.

"Well, what do you want?" asked the conductor impatiently.

"Well," said the old lady meditatively, "you may bring me a ham
sandwich and a cup of tea, please."

_The Parson and the "Light"_

A parson had had a call from a little country parish to a large and
wealthy one in a big city. He asked time for prayer and
consideration. He did not feel sure of his light. A month passed.
Some one met hie youngest son. "How is it, Josiah; is your father
going to B------?"

"Well," answered the youngster judicially, "paw is still prayin' for
light, but most of the things is packed."

_Turn About is Fair Play_

Last Christmas a middle-aged tinplate-worker married a widow whose
acquaintance he had made but a few weeks before while working some
little distance away from home.

"Sarrah," he said nervously, after the guests had departed, "I 'ave a
weddin' present for ye."

"What is it, John?" said Sarrah with a smirk.

"I 'ope ye won't be 'fended, Sarrah," said John, more agitated than
ever, "but it is--er--er--it is five of 'em."

"Five of wat?" asked Sarrah.

"Five children!" blurted out John desperately, anticipating a scene.
"I didn't tell ye I 'ad children-