flying leap across the intervening stretch of water and
landed safely on the deck. A fat man happened to be standing on the
exact spot on which he struck, and they both went down with a
resounding crash. When the arriving man had somewhat recovered his
breath he apologized to the fat man. "I hope I didn't hurt you," he
said. "I am sorry. But, anyway, I caught the boat!"

"But, you idiot," said the fat man, "the boat was coming in!"

_He Didn't Mind_

A certain railway in Michigan has a station entitled Sawyer's Mills,
but usually entitled, for short, Sawyer's.

A rural couple on one of the trains attracted much attention by their
evident fondness for each other until the brakeman thrust his head in
the doorway of the car and called out, "Sawyer! Sawyer!"

"Reuben" suddenly assumed the perpendicular and indignantly exclaimed,
"Well, I don't care if you did; we've been engaged three weeks."

_He Announced His Intentions_

Young man and his lady-love attended a protracted meeting which was
being held in the village church. Arriving late they found the church
filled, but a gentleman arose and gave the lady his seat, while the
young man was ushered far away to a seat in another part of the
building.

The service grew warm and impressive.

"Will those who want our prayers please stand up?" said the preacher.

At this juncture the young man thought it was getting late and he
would get his sweetheart and go home, but not just knowing where she
sat he rose to his feet and looked over the audience.

The minister, mistaking his intentions, asked: "Young man, are you
seeking salvation?"

To which the young man responded: "At present I am seeking Sal
Jackson!"

_As a Last Resort_

"Well, doctor," said the patient who was an incessant talker, "why in
the world don't you look at my tongue, if you want to, instead of
writing away like a newspaper editor? How long do you expect I am
going to sit here with my mouth wide open?"

"Just one moment more, please, madam," replied the doctor; "I only
wanted you to keep still long enough so that I could write this
prescription."

_He Got the Information_

At a country fair a machine which bore a sign reading, "How to Make
Your Trousers Last," occupied a prominent position in the grounds and
attracted much attention, says "Harper's Weekly." A countryman who
stood gaping before it was told by the exhibitor, a person with a long
black mustache, a mins