chool he was examining: "Can you
take your warm overcoats aff?" "Yes, sir," was the response. "Can
the bear take his warm overcoat off?" "No, sir." "Why not?" There
was silence for a while, and then a little boy spoke up: "Please, sir,
because God alone knows where the buttons are."

_The Young Housewife's Latest_

In the cook's absence the young mistress of the house undertook, with
the help of a green waitress, to get the Sunday luncheon. The
flurried maid, who had been struggling in the kitchen with a coffee
machine that refused to work, confessed that she had forgotten to wash
the lettuce.

"Well, never mind, Eliza. Go on with the coffee, and I'll do it,"
said the considerate mistress. "Where do you keep the soap?"

_He Did His Best_

A hungry Irishman went into a restaurant on Friday and said to the
waiter:

"Have yez any whale?"

"No."

"Have yez any shark?"

"No."

"Have yez any swordfish?"

"No."

"Have yez any jellyfish?"

"No."

"All right," said the Irishman. "Then bring me ham and eggs and a
beefsteak smothered wid onions. The Lord knows I asked for fish."

_The Power Behind_

At a prayer-meeting a good old brother stood up and said he was glad
to give the following testimony:

"My wife and I," he said, "started in life with hardly a cent in the
world. We began at the lowest round of the ladder, but the Lord has
been good to us and we have worked up--we have prospered. We bought a
little farm and raised good crops. We have a good home and a nice
family of children, and," he added with much emphasis, "I am the head
of that family."

After he sat down his wife promptly arose to corroborate all that he
had said. She said that they had started in life with hardly a cent,
the Lord had been good to them and they had prospered; they did have a
farm and good crops, and it was true they did have a fine family of
children. But she added with satisfaction, "I am the neck that moves
the head."

_Easy Enough_

Some visitors who were being shown over a pauper lunatic asylum, says
"Harper's Weekly," inquired of their guide what method was employed to
discover when the inmates were sufficiently recovered to leave.

"Well," replied he, "you see, it's this way. We have a big trough of
water, and we turns on the tap. We leave it running, and tells 'em to
bail out the water with pails until they've emptied the trough."

"How does that prove it?" asked one of the v